Cup miscellany

Apologies for the lack of posts. I've had a very busy work week, and this weekend I attended a music festival, so I've had very little free time, and the free time I have had, I've spent... well, watching soccer.

Not too much World Cup news over the last few days; people are focused on the domestic European leagues winding down and the Champions League semis. Here's a round up:

• DaMarcus Beasley was charged with drunk driving last week. It's just the latest bad event in what's been a rough year for the Beas; he hasn't been able to hold a place in the PSV starting line-up and has sometimes been disappointing when he's gotten on the field. Let's hope these distractions don't spill over into his World Cup performances.
• The Dutch named a provisional 33 player squad for the Cup, with cuts to come later. One player in doubt might be the magnificently-named Rafael Van der Vaart, who faces an upcoming surgery.
• Costa Rica has named 28 players on their provisional squad. World Cup goal scorer Winston Parks was left off, while LA Galaxy reject Michael Umana was deemed worthy of inclusion. Good luck with that.
• Everyone wants a piece of Liechtenstein.
• Need a place to stay in Germany this summer? How about this dude's shed?
• An Ecuadorian shaman has exorcised all the evil spirits in Leipzig. No that's not quite true:

Tzamarenda Naychapi -- a priest who practices magic for healing, divination and controlling events -- let out a loud scream to chase away evil spirits in the centre of the pitch at Leipzig's Zentralstadion on Monday. (Emphasis mine)

As long as you're a midfielder, you're probably safe; however, goalkeepers should keep crucifixes at the ready. And if ever any player falls over in the attacking third and starts writhing around in pain after the tiniest contact from an opposing defender, you'll know that it's not cowardly opportunism designed to win a free kick; rather it's because the shaman couldn't be bothered to schlep his necromantic ass down to that end of the field.

Chicken soup for the soul

Undoubtedly over the next couple of months there'll be some articles analyzing what the various national teams are eating in their team camps. When these articles come, I can promise you that Kicker Conspiracy will be all over them. In the meantime, here is an appetizer, so to speak. Via Jon DeNunzio's Road to the World Cup blog in the Washington Post, Portugal are going to be servin' up tasty chicken soup to alleviate their players' homesickness.

The reason Luis Figo was turned into Tony Sanneh's plaything in 2002? Not enough soup.

Racism and the World Cup

In response to several recent incidents of racism in European stadia, FIFA has announced strict new regulations punishing teams whose fans are practicing such behavior. Yesterday, FIFA prez Sepp Blatter announced that these punishments, including a three point penalty for teams with racist fans, will apply at the World Cup.

I'm skeptical about this for two reasons. First off, although this is a legitimate problem, the fan dynamics of the World Cup (all matches in a neutral nation, limited ticket allocations, and the expense of those tickets) make it less likely that incidents of racism will occur. I can't recall any incidents of fan racism at the Wolrd Cup finals (although the qualification tournament is another matter.)

Secondly, as the Guardian points out, there are a number of flaws in this scheme. Three point penalties are fine during the group phase, but what about the knockout phase? And what's stopping some cunning fans from gaming the system and making racist noises and comments and members of their own team, hoping their opponents will be penalized?

Perhaps more importantly, why should a national team, playing in a neutral venue, be responsible for the behavior of the people in the crowd? A club is able to administer their own stadium and is thus able to take measures against racism. But how will a national federation in Germany be able to do that if they are playing a one off match in a foreign stadium?

Golden Balls

No, not a post about David Beckham, but rather the official World Cup ball, which actually looks quite spiffy. Apparently, each of the balls will be customized for each match with the date of the match and the names of the teams. So if you manage to catch a wayward Frank Lampard rocket in the stands, don't throw it back; it will probably be worth a mint on Ebay.

The celeb who unveiled the new ball was Franz Beckenbauer, who made a hilariously catty observation about the host nation's squad:

"Ideally, I would like to see Germany face Brazil in the Final but, in view of recent results, I think the chances of the German team reaching that stage are slim. However, I am confident that Jurgen Klinsmann and his backroom staff will ensure that the lads are in peak condition ahead of the tournament."

Shorter Kaiser: "We may not win scheiße, but I'm sure we'll be able to run around aimlessly." I don't know what "faint praise" is in German, but I suspect it's one very long word.

Keeper in a Keep

Kasey Keller lives in a castle!!! That is so unbelievably cool!

Charm Offensive, Part 2

A month or so back, I commented on the "charm offensive" the host nation was launching in advance of the World Cup. Today, the Beeb has a report on how the city of Berlin is doing their part:

By adopting "A time to make friends" as the tournament slogan, World Cup organisers want national stereotypes lingering since World War II to be smothered under a friendly embrace.

Note the undertonal menace of that last passive participle. I can't decide if this is some manifestation of a Lacanian textual unconscious or if they're just trying to be funny.

Also amusing this description of English fans, offered up by a German sports journalist:

"Sun protection seems to be an alien concept for a lot of them and they like to drink at 10 o'clock in the morning, but that's OK if they don't hit passers-by."

Trinidad cup squad

Dwight Yorke! Stern John! Russell Latapy! The white guy! And they're all going to the World Cup. Today Trinidad announced its provisional 24 man roster.

Why 24, when the roster maximum is 23? The heck if I know. Maybe Leo Beenhakker thinks the law of averages means at least one ACL injury over the next month.

I was thrilled when Trinidad qualified, but egad, they're going to have a tough time of it in Germany.

Not so Bad anymore

Imagine you're a Saudi footballer. You like what you do, but in Arabia there aren't really the wide range of recreational options there are for other footballers. Therefore, you're rather looking forward to your summer trip to Germany, where they famously take a more liberal view on these matters.

Imagine, then, your crestfallen despondency when you learn that the German town of Bad Neuheim, Saudi Arabia's base for the tournament, is planning a booze and porn elimination fest of epic proportions in order to prepare for your team's arrival. Maybe they could rename the town Frustratingly Good Neuheim.

US-Jamaica

Well that was all a bit crap wasn't it?

Arena's praise of the Jamaicans was well merited; they worked continually at disrupting the US flow, and overall they were very successful at doing so. In fact, the most dispiriting thing about the whole affair was our inability to find a rhythm at any point in the match. I couldn't hear the commentary (I was at a bar), but it seemed from the captions that Marcelo Balboa was going on about how the Americans had reassumed dominance in the midfield after a difficult opening period. Possessional dominance maybe, but the Jamaicans always controlled the tempo of the game; no one on the US side could slow the game down and work a creative build-up. The result was an frenetic, artless affair, full of sound and fury, but signifying (and producing) nothing.

Given these circumstances, it's really no surprise, therefore, that the player of the match should be Ben Olsen. Olsen did well because the Jamaican strategy suited his natural game: he was able to match them by running around, working hard, making some tackles and providing some energy. It was a nice performance, but what we really needed was a player to dictate the pace of the game and inject some creativity. And no one could do that on the US team tonight. The Jamaicans did a nice job keeping Noonan and the unlucky Ralston on a short leash.

The strikers were pretty forgettable, but then there was very little quality service. Sometimes Wolff or Johnson went out wide to receive passes, and I thought these moments were the most promising. Otherwise, Arena faces the same conundrum at forward that he's been facing for the last half a year. I suspect he's leaning towards moving Donovan up to partner McBride and bringing in an in-form midfielder--Dempsey or Convey-- to the starting XI.

Chris Albright looked good in the box--maybe some coach should try and convert him into a striker.... Actually, Albright did his roster chances a power of good simply by being a better Frankie Hejduk than Frankie Hejduk. Bearing in mind he's a wing back who can play in midfield or even up front, Albright may well make his way to that Cup roster after all.

Speaking of which, there was the strange decision to announce a provisional 35 man roster today, followed by the equally strange decision not to announce it after all. I haven't the foggiest what that was about, other than someone realized that provisional rosters are all a bit pointless.

Your morning reading

All the US-Jamaica preview you need is right here.

Meanwhile, on the front of the Washington Post sports section, Steve Goff has a very fine profile of Oguchi Onyewu. Do check it out.

Onyewu's rise in the US team has been truly meteoric. Fifteen months ago, he was a promising prospect whom Arena gave some garbage minutes against Panama, where he could get experience. Now he's not only a starter, he's one of the essential US players, along with Reyna, Donovan, Beasley and Keller.

Break up to make up

Spring is here and love is in the air! After losing out in a very public goalkeeper controversy, Oliver Kahn, says he will not acrimoniously retire after all. Not only will he accept being Germany's #2 keeper, he'll even cheer on his arch-nemesis Mad Jens:

"I'm not the sort of person who can't lose," Kahn said. "The whole team, including Jens Lehmann, will have my full support."

Okay, so it wasn't completely enthusiastic, but I doubt I would be either given the circumstances. Anyway, Klinsmann will be thrilled to have Kahn's ursine posterior warming the bench as Germany's backup keeper.

But lest you start thinking that the Kahn-Lehmann peace pact is the sign of a new age of peace, love and understanding, also in the news today was reports of a rift between Michael Owen and Wayne Rooney. Apparently, Rooney has racked up some 700,000 pounds of gambling debt, much of which is owed to Mickey's bookmaker company, whose customers consist largely of overpaid and undereducated sports stars. Everyone involved (or, more accurately, the agents of everyone involved) denies that any disagreement has taken place, but given Rooney's charming propensity for telling assistant refs to f*** off after every offside call, it's easy to imagine that he's a touch miffed.

So that's what for Rooney... about three months wages? Surely one good Nike commercial could knock that out.

Brazil: The Case Against

Whenever I'm asked who's going to win the World Cup, I try to stifle myself if the syllable "Bra" comes to my lips. It's not that I think Brazil are going to tank or anything, it's more that the answer is just so... cowardly. Picking Brazil to win the Cup is the easy way out, because they have a incredible history in the competition and such a great team on paper. What kind of wussy prediction is that?

But if you want an argument against Brazil winning that relies on, you know, actual substance, then check out Amy Lawrence's interesting discussion of the Brazilians in this article in the Observer. The concerns with the team, says Lawrence, are that...

A) They're old as the hills, particularly their outside backs
B) Their goalkeeper is awful
C) Their defenders are out of form and weren't really that good to begin with
D) Ronaldo is fat, fat, fat
E) Adriano's personal life is distractingly complex.

B is always the case, and I think D & E are overplayed in the media. It's A and C that are most convincing. If I were an opposing coach, I'd play Brazil in a Chelsea-style 4-5-1 and try to get my wingers in one-on-one situations against Cafu and Roberto Carlos. That'd stretch the central defense nicely, allowing my central midfielders to make attacking runs into the box. A solid performance from my D and I take a 3-1 victory... hell, I'm going to go home and try it out on Winning Eleven right now.

The German keeper for the cup will be...

Mad Jens. Apparently Steve Cherundulo's 70 yard fluke goal against Kahn was a factor in the decision!

Mahmoud's European Vacation

Even repressive and slightly unhinged extremist rulers like international soccer! Take for instance, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who apparently wants to visit the Iranian team in Germany during the World Cup. I can see him now at the June 11th opener against Mexico, bratwurst in hand, chanting obscenely about Jared Borgetti's mother. Good thing they weren't drawn against the US this time round. (They can't play each other until the championship match or third-place game, so it ain't happening.)

As the article hints, Mahmoud brings more baggage than the current contretemps over the Iranian nuclear program. Germany has a law punishing Holocaust denial with jail time, and Mahmoud's remarks on the subject put him well into David Irving territory and then some. So if he came, the German authorities would be put either in the awkward position of arresting him or in the awkward position of explaining why they aren't arresting him.

But the biggest loser if Mahmoud takes a summer vacation to Germany is the Iranian national team. An Ahmadinejad visit would be an incredibly distracting situation, one in which politics, rather than soccer, will take center stage. With an experienced squad, and playing in a country with which many of their players are familiar, Iran have a not terrible chance of getting out of Group D, a chance that could well be scuppered if a visit from their dear leader starts interfering with their preparation.

UPDATE: What's Farsi for "Psyche!"?

Subjectivity and Cuauhtemoc Blanco

The inherent subjectivity of blogging is both the strength and weakness of the medium. We can see this most prominently in political weblogs, which are more closely related to editorials than they are actual news stories. Personally, I'm attracted to that aspect of the blog world; since a well-supported and closely argued point of view--even if it's a perspective you disagree with--can often be more intellectually stimulating than the he-said, she said discourses of the "mainstream media" that pass for objectivity.

That being said, I also like juvenile snark. And so we come to the case of Cuauhtemoc Blanco, who was left off the provisional 26-man Mexico squad announced this week by Ricardo Lavolpe.

If I were writing about this story for ASN, I'd need to be objective about this. I'd undoubtedly focus on the effect the omission will have on Mexico's goalscoring chances (none at all.) Or I might speculate on the effect this will have on the unity of Mexico's squad (again, probably none at all, since he's barely been capped over the last few years.)

But I'm not. So let me instead say that say that I find Blanco's omission, and his subsequent puzzlement at it, very funny. And let me go in to say that I'll enjoy the World Cup just a teeny-weeny little bit more for him not being there. I won't have to see that stupid and basically useless bunny-hop move. I won't get to see his displays of pure class, such as when he almost punched Pablo Mastroeni while Mastroeni was lying on the ground.

(One bit of non-snarkage. If Mexico go down in flames at the World Cup, Blanco's omission will be the first piece of explanatory evidence used against him, just as Harkes's was against Steve Sampson in 98. And I'll bet you a doughnut that the first person to point it out will be Lavolpe bete-noire Hugo Sanchez.)

US squad for Jamaica...

is announced.

Last week I speculated that Arena might bring in his English-based keepers for this one, but on the LA-New England telecast, Arena said that he wouldn't bring in Hahnemann and Convey from "Championship" champions Reading. So I wondered who in fact would play keeper for the US team against Jamaica: how do you motivate a player who's definitely not going to the World Cup? The answer is that it will basically be Tony Meola's testimonial match, giving him an even 100 caps. Maybe he'll get beaten near post for old time's sake.

The rest of the squad is Arena's MLS contingent. The big omission here is Chris Klein. Soccer America speculates that Klein lost his roster chance against Germany a couple of weeks back. That's probably true, but it also represents Arena's last opportunity to look at a fit Steve Ralston, who plays basically the same position as Klein. For Ralston, Pat Noonan, Chris Albright and Brian Ching, this represents the last opportunity to impress Arena in a pre-Cup friendly--the Bruce announces his squad on May 2nd.

Oh and John O'Brien's back, having newly signed for Chivas USA. He'll have a total of one game with his new employers before taking the field against Jamaica. If he can stay fit and actually play full matches for the Goats, he'll be on that May 2nd roster. If not, look to that reported 10-man alternate list, and in particular one K. Zavagnin.

Referees

Here's the FIFA referee roster for the World Cup.

Can I just take a moment to express my complete befuddlement that Peter Prendergast is a again a tournament referee? No referee consistently gets things wrong more than Prendergast--the Gregg Berhalter "handball" call in Costa Rica, the disallowed Belgian goal against Brazil in the round of 16 in 2002... and those were just the big result-changing mistakes. He makes terrible calls in every match he officiates.

I think having the referee roster correlate with the geographical breakdown of the participants is utterly idiotic. Competence should be the only factor determining whether a referee participates. Any referee with experience in the top European or South American leagues would be better than that joker Prendergast.

American goalies

Steven Goff has an interesting catch in today's Post: the three US goalies in Germany this summer will probably be Keller, Howard and Hahnemann, and that no MLS goalies will called in:

"In all fairness, do you punish Tim Howard for being at Man United behind one of the best goalkeepers in the world?" Arena said. "Do you punish Marcus Hahnemann? These are guys who, in their own rights, have earned an opportunity to be part of the World Cup roster. Is it set in stone at this point? No, but I think we have three goalkeepers who appear to be a little bit ahead of the domestic keepers at the moment."

This is almost certainly the right call. Although one of the strengths of MLS is their keepers, there isn't one goalkeeper who has stood head and shoulders above the rest over the last year. Hartmann is not good enough with his feet, Thornton is too immobile, Guzan is too young and Reis is a touch too adventurous. The only one who might have gotten short shrift is Joe Cannon, and even he didn't have as good a year as he did in 2004. Keller, Hahnemann and Howard are unquestionably the top three choices in my mind.

The biggest question, re: goalies, is who would replace Keller if he picked up an injury. Do you go with the match sharp Hahnemann or the rusty, but with top flight experience Howard? Not an easy call. I think they'll probably both be called up for the Jamaica match despite it not falling on an international date--Howard's a sub for Man U, and Hahnemann's season is essentially finished with Reading's promotion--and we'll get a chance to compare them then.

Liechtenstein was too scary

Apparently unwilling to take the field against the Vaduz Vanquishers, the German federation has gone for the Luxembourgers in that pre-Cup friendly I was talking about earlier.

(Note: if the adjective describing people from Luxembourg is "Luxembourgois," I neither know nor care.)

A couple of friendly results from yesterday, by the way. Mexico got a nice win against Paraguay at Soldier Field, and Japan underwhelmed to beat Ecuador at home.

Let's talk about...

Like clockwork, every four years there are a spate of articles before the World Cup debating whether or not players should be allowed to have sex during the tournament. One school of thought is that celibate players will have their energies more focused on playing the matches. The other school of thought thinks the first is batsh*t insane.

Anyway, you'll be pleased to hear that Brazil coach Carlos Alberto Parreira apparently is pro-nookie. He also encourages his players to play conga drums (although not at the same time, one hopes).

100% Germany-free post

In 2002, Saudi Arabia were the worst team in the World Cup. Such levels of suckitude are difficult to maintain, but the Saudis* are off to a good start in their preparations: today they lost at home 2-1 to Poland, in a match that the Poles apparently controlled for long stretches.

It's hard to know what to make of Saudi Arabia. They did very well in 1994 and seemed to be a rising force on the world stage. But in the next two Cups they stank on ice (or sand, rather), and there's little indication that 2006 will be any different. A large part of the problem is that their players almost never play abroad, and so they can't get the kind of experience that playing in a top league can give you.

Watch them win the whole thing now after my snark. If they are going to have World Cup success, it better be this year; they'll never have a kinder draw than Spain, Ukraine and Tunisia.

* Why are they always called "Saudis"? The house of Saud, after whom Saudi Arabia is named, is just one family (albeit a super-powerful one). Why aren't they called "Arabians?"

Mmm... soothing...

Speaking of nutty German plans, there's this:

German police are planning to calm nerves among fans at this year's FIFA World Cup™ by using officers specially trained in pub-speak to communicate through megaphones.

The authorities in Frankfurt are piloting a scheme where officers explain to fans over a loudspeaker what the police are doing, putting them at ease using colloquial language and humour, albeit mostly in German.

Because there's nothing more nerve-calming than the sound of a German police officer yelling jokes over a megaphone.

Cannon fodder

It seems to me that there's a pretty obvious flaw with Germany's plan to build confidence by staging a pre-Cup friendly against one of their diminuitive neighbors: Liechtenstein/Luxembourg might win.

Seriously. Liechtenstein drew Portugal in qualifying, and after they were two goals down to boot. And what opponent wouldn't be up for humiliating the Germans immediately prior to the World Cup?

I think the logic behind this is terrible: either you score a meaningless large victory against a minnow, or you end up with disappointment and/or humiliation. It's a no-win situation.

In other hot match-scheduling action, the US have arranged a closed-door scrimmage with Angola immediately prior to the tournament. Last time round in 2002, the US did the German plan and played a pre-Cup scrimmage against cannon fodder. The victims in question were US second division team Richmond Kickers, who, somewhat hilariously, managed to tie the US 2-2, (see? It can happen.) causing waves of apoplectic panic among US supporters. Bearing in mind it all turned out fine for the US in the end, I guess it all goes to show that you shouldn't take this kind of thing too seriously. (Although I can't help but notice in the Richmond-US match report that it was Jeff Agoos who got beat on one of Richmond's goals, which in hindsight was a definite precursor of his performance in Korea.)

Miscellaneous stuff

World Cup build-up news is pretty sparse today. Here are the highlights, such as they are:

• Wayne Rooney says he won't touch the World Cup trophy on the FIFA promotional tour, lest it jinx his chances of actually lifting the thing for real this summer. He also reveals that he used to pretend he was Michael Owen when he played football on the playgrounds as a child. England fans probably wish that Michael Owen would every so often pretend he was Wayne Rooney .
• Mexico prepares for next week's friendly against Paraguay. They've recalled Claudio Suarez, but not soccer's most loveable hunchback.
• Serbian coach Ilija Petkovic is "quite sure" they will emerge from the Group of Death with Argentina, Holland and Cote d'Ivoire. Good luck with that.

Club vs country

There's a legal brouhaha going on right now in Europe that has implications for the future of international soccer. The Belgian team Charleroi is suing FIFA for compensation after one of their players picked up an eight month injury while on international duty. Charleroi are being backed by the G-14, the informal, yet odious, grouping of the richest fourteen European teams.

Phil Cornwall is dead right when he says this is another example of the G-14's greed, but I don't see how, legally speaking, FIFA could be held monetarily responsible, since they weren't the group that actually called up the player. (They aren't suing the Moroccan federation because the G-14 think this would be useless as a precedent, since many national federations wouldn't be able to afford compensation.)

It's a time for saner heads to prevail. Which makes it a great shame that the issue is being decided by EU courts....

Dortmund aftermath

Arena says all the right things in his post-Dortmund hangover. Taking the responsibility for the loss is the right thing to do; too many of the immediate post-match comments from himself and especially Kasey Keller blame the players. Now he's more temperate.

Definitely allocate blame, but do it internally; I'm a great believer in winning and losing as a team, even when the purpose of the match itself is to evaluate individual players.

He says something very interesting in the article:

"We're getting really close [to the May 15th squad deadline]," he said. "The last three spots are going to be difficult to decide on."

Apparently there are three open roster spots. Here's my guess about the twenty who are on:

Goalkeepers: Keller, Howard, Hahnemann
Defenders: Oneywu, Cherundolo, Pope, Bocanegra, Berhalter, Lewis
Midfielders: Reyna, Donovan, Beasley, Mastroeni, Convey, Dempsey, either O'Brien or Zavagnin
Forwards: McBride, Johnson, Twellman, Wolff

Yes, I think Berhalter is still on the squad, in spite of the Germany debacle; Wednesday notwithstanding, he's generally very consistent.

Of those three remaining players I think you want:

• One center back who can play outside.
• One defensive flank player who can attack.
• One utility player, someone who could be used in a variety of roles.

Who are the candidates? For each category...

• Conrad, Gibbs, or Spector. Conrad was in front before this match, now I'd say it's an open question.
• Hejduk, Dunivant, or Albright maybe. Hejduk is probably in front here because of his experience and versatility.
• Hard to say. Maybe Hejduk if he doesn't make the second category. Perhaps Ralston or Olsen. I think Olsen's ability to play center mid, flanker or right back puts him in a good position. Klein probably is out at this point.

Injuries will probably play a role here when all is said and done, as will club form. But one of the goals of the Jamaica match should be to get some answers about those last three spots.

In my opinion, the strikers are pretty much set: McBride, Johnson, Twellman and Wolff are unquestionably the best four available. If one of them is injured, it's an open question, one that might be decided by MLS early season form.

A return to normalcy

... was what Warren Harding promised after a past American adventure in Europe, and that's what we seem to have now after ours. Germany swept aside the US 4-1 in Dortmund yesterday, restoring both the natural order of football, and some sense of German optimism. (Nice headline there by the way, Merrill.)

Here are Wagman's always generous ratings, Sams-Army's, and Kicker's.

I won't be able to watch the match until the weekend, so I can't yet fully comment. But it seems like the central defense had a really rough day, particularly Berhalter. I don't think that Arena will bring down the axe on Berhalter or Conrad because of one half, but it can't have helped them either. Conrad's main competitor for a roster spot is probably Cory Gibbs, who didn't seem to have the greatest game either, but he was played a bit out of position on the left. Klein and Ching surely didn't help themselves either. It seems like the best US player was Convey, followed by Mastroeni and/or Johnson.

I'd caution against hyperbolic overreaction to this result. It wasn't pretty but it was, given the circumstances of the match, always on the cards. I'll write something fuller on this when I watch the match later.

On the other side of the pitch, of course things are peachy. Even the German press seems happy.

The patience of JO'B

Earlier this week, Yanks Abroad posted a report that perpetually injured American midfielder John O'Brien is fully fit and about to make the move to MLS. It also speculates about his World Cup aspirations:

The Los Angeles native is also physically ready to be named to Bruce Arena's World Cup 2006 squad on May 15th.

"He's completely fit," agent Rob Jansen told YA. "Of course (he can be called), there are no problems with that."

O'Brien coming to MLS is a good career move I think, and a major bonus for the team who lands him. But the man's played, what maybe ten competitive matches in the last two years? Arena wants to bring him, but there's no way he's going to waste a roster spot on a player who isn't proven match fit.

I'd say that O'Brien's roster chances at the moment are extremely doubtful, unless he signs in the next week or so and then plays some full MLS games. Time is very definitely not on his side.

Pressure

I agree with just about everything in Michael Lewis's US-Germany preview except Soccernet's description of it:

As the U.S. prepares to face Germany in today's World Cup warmup, the pressure is on coach Bruce Arena to get the most out of his team, writes Michael Lewis.

Soccernet needs a better blurb writer, because that's not even slightly what the article's about. But more to the point, that statement just isn't true. Coaching a team missing several starters, and playing the host nation in front of a huge crowd, Arena's under absolutely no pressure at all. He'll be pleased with an organized, gritty performance regardless of the result. 0-0 would be a great scoreline for the USA, but a disaster for Germany, and once that would increase the very real pressure on Jurgen Klinsmann.

US pre-cup friendly schedule

Something I missed while I was out... the USSF announced three pre-World Cup friendlies: against Morocco, Venezuela, and Latvia.

Er... these are three quality opponents who will test... oh who am I kidding? These three are essentially minnows; only Morocco even came close to qualifying for the Cup.

The problem here is one of getting quality opponents to come to America on the eve of a tournament in Europe. In 2002, with all teams needing to fly to the Far East, scheduling friendlies was no problem. But you don't want to fly your squad over to Europe in mid-May, bring them home, and fly them all the way back again in a few weeks. And likewise, European teams preparing for the Cup are not going to want to come here. So it is understandable that this is the best we can do, but still... I would have liked at least one marquee match in the build-up.

US-Germany preview

Wednesday's only friendly match pits the host nation against the US. Their comparative FIFA rankings are pretty funny: the US is 5th while three time world champion Germany is... 22nd?!

Okay, but that's just so much FIFA bologna, I hear you cry. (I tried to come up with a German sausage equivalent, but "knockwurst" doesn't really work. "Braunschweiger" perhaps?) Obviously Germany is the favorite. But here's the point: based on the results themselves, 22nd is frankly about right. Germany haven't beaten a major team in many years, and haven't always do so well against the non-major ones. And following that 4-1 whooping they received two weeks ago, things have reached a crisis point.

Let me just emphasize the point for those readers who aren't familiar with international soccer. There's always pressure on a World Cup team, but for the hosts, there is that much more. If you're the host of the tournament, you have to make a show of it, lest you face total international ridicule and national shame. In the history of the World Cup, every host nation has made it to the second round, no matter how feeble they seemed before the tournament. Switzerland made it in 54. The US did in 94. South Korea and Japan both made it in 2002. And although the Germans have a pretty straightforward group, it's not a complete cakewalk. Increasingly German fans are feeling that they might not make it out of even Group A. They are in desperate need of some... any... kind of confidence boost.

In short, this is the biggest game Germany have played since Euro 2004 and they will be very highly motivated. I'm expecting the same heavy German victory their fans are. Any kind of result for the Americans would be a fantastic one.

The plus side of all that is that the US is under virtually no pressure for this game. They only have something of a makeshift side available, having lost Donovan and Hejduk to injury and Dempsey to a severe case of punchiness; plus they are missing a lot of European players who didn't get a club release. Some points of interest:

• It's really the last chance for Cory Gibbs to make a case for being on the Cup squad. Personally I think the odds are against him; he may be fully fit, but he hasn't even played a match at the full club level yet for ADO Den Haag. Will he really be ready to face a motivated German attack? It might be a no-win situation for him: being left on the bench won't help him but playing probably won't help either. He needs to have a blinder. Same goes for Heath Pearce, by the way.
• Probably a central midfield of Mastroeni and Zavagnin. In another situation, you might want to have a more offensive player in there, but under the circumstances, I think it's a good idea. It'll be left to Klein and particularly Convey to link to the attack. This is a good opportunity for Convey to make a bid for a starting position. It'd be nice to see Olsen get a chance as well.
• I'd like to see Johnson and Twellman as the starting strikers. There will be very few chances, so whoever starts cannot afford to be profligate with them.

As for the German team news, it goes from bad to worse. Sebastian Deisler has been ruled out of the World Cup with a knee injury, and Torsten Frings and Mike Hanke both picked up injuries in Bundesliga play this weekend. Bayer Leverkusen castoff and life of the party Oliver Neuville (who, by the way, is the dead ringer of Lister's Paranoia on Red Dwarf) is the replacement for... well, all of them, I guess.

P.S. Frank Dell'Apa makes, as usual, an interesting point: one of the many intriguing subtexts of this game is that Jurgen Klinsmann is a natural choice as the manager of the United States sometime in the not too distant future, perhaps even after this World Cup. Top flight international experience, yet familiarity with the American game... you know, he might not be a bad choice.

Fight Club

I totally missed the big US soccer story this last week (and it was on my American Soccer News beat, no less): Clint Dempsey was suspended for two weeks by the New England Revolution for fulfilling many a MLS striker's dream and punching teammate Joey Franchino in the face. Apparently Dempsey was registering his objection to a typically full-blooded Franchino tackle during a practice session. Agreeing with the Revs, the US coaching staff dropped him from the squad for the Wednesday friendly.

So yeah... nice move, Clint. But this story should be over: Dempsey's a bright kid who knows that he had a stupid moment. Hopefully after a two week cooling off period and a round of apologies this will be in the past. And frankly, the two weeks off should be good for Dempsey, who's been playing a lot of soccer so far in 2006; this suspension might be a nice inoculation against summer burnout.

Un cadeau pour football!

Ate great food, visited beautiful museums, witnessed student riots and spotted a French film star to boot (well, kind of... Dominique Pinon, the man with the squashed face who is in all the Jean-Pierre Jeunet films.) What more could one ask for from a French vacation?

Football-wise I fell a bit out of touch, but I did watch the second half of last week's fantastic Arsenal-Liverpool match on French TV. Go ahead, see if you can guess who the French commentary team was pulling for.

There was much talk about Thierry Henry, whom one of the commentators wonderfully referred to as "un cadeau pour football" (a gift for football). They also emphasized a point that can't be repeated enough: for France to do well in the World Cup this summer, Henry must have a great tournament. He's never shined on that stage before: in 1998 he was a promising youngster on the subs bench, and in 2002 he, like the rest of the French team, flopped. Could 2006 be his year?

En vacances

Posting will be light to non-existent next week as I'm going to be on vacation in France. Have a great week!

Math is hard!

Not much really to do with soccer this, but initially I found Steve Fainaru's befuddlement over the World Baseball Classic's group stage tiebreaker... befuddling. When three teams are tied in a four team group, the teams that progress into the knockout stage are the ones that allow the least runs per inning against the other tied teams. What's so bewildering about that?

But it's worth remembering that each sport has different mathematical discourses. Soccer fans are thoroughly comfortable with sorting out ties based on scores, but those who aren't baseball fans probably find baseball's spreadsheet-like scoreboards and emphasis on percentages extremely impenetrable. Something as simple as the clock counting up instead of down throws a lot of new soccer watchers (hence MLS's initial decision to have a countdown.)

Incidentally, as a patriotic non-baseball fan, I found Canada's 8-6 victory over the US pretty damn funny.

The mob gathers

A couple of years ago, German defender Stefan Effenberg retired from professional football so that he could concentrate on his other full-time job: being an asshole. In that capacity today, he has told Bild that he thinks former teammate Jurgen Klinsmann should be fired as soon as possible:

"If I was in charge then I would get rid of Klinsmann right away and get Ottmar Hitzfeld in," Effenberg told Bild daily. "I would even suggest doing that before the United States game."

Needless to say, that would be pretty much bonkers. But with Franz Beckenbauer ominously muttering that "time is running out," it's fair to say that even if the lynch mob is not actually pounding on Klinsmann's door, they are down at the hardware store stocking up on torches and pitchforks.

All of which makes the forthcoming friendly against the US very interesting. Anything less than a victory against the Americans will bring the cries for Klinsmann's head to a fever pitch. And let's face it, realistically this will be difficult. The USA is unbeaten in 2006, confident, and, since they're playing a top nation at home, under very little pressure. We've done pretty well in friendlies against Germany in the not too distant past, and even in that game, the US was certainly the better team (if it had been a meaningless friendly instead of a World Cup quarter final, the Germans would have been slammed for that performance.) So tune in on Mar 22nd; it should be fun.

P.S. I realize that one of those "friendlies" I linked to was actually a Confederations Cup game. But... you know... the Cornfed Cup is pretty much still a meaningless tournament.

Deadlines

Aside from German disgruntlement, the big World Cup story this week has to do with the deadline for squad announcements. FIFA had previously mandated May 15th as the deadline for naming players to each country's World Cup squad. Recently, various influential coaches, including Sven-Goran Eriksson, Jurgen Klinsmann, and Carlos Alberto Parreira, have asked for an extension, saying they'll need the extra time: injuries may occur in May friendlies, players with injuries may recover faster than expected, etc.

The initial motivation for the FIFA ruling was to prevent the players from being burnt out, a factor that some say was a problem during the 2002 Word Cup. But really this is just another instance of Blatter and FIFA being too officious. Surely it should be the responsibility of the countries themselves to make sure their players aren't overly tired. If the squad is burnt out, it's their problem, not FIFA's. And really, as long as the squad remains the same (barring injury substitutions) after the tournament start date, it shouldn't matter if they name their team the day before or the month before.

Almost certainly, the individual countries are going to have their way in the debate, because they have all the power. What's Blatter going to do... kick Germany, England and Brazil out of the World Cup for naming their squads late?

Jimmy was a defender and he was always down

Let me just say that I think Jimmy Conrad's columns for Soccernet are incredibly smart and funny. And in the latest one, we learn that he's an Interpol fan! Now I want him to make the World Cup squad more than ever.

Auf deutsch: Charme

Am I the only one who finds the thought of a German "charm offensive" vaguely threatening?

It's hard out there for a pimp

Best, I thought, to get the subject line out the way right now, before it gets played out altogether. But what can I shoehorn in to this post to match it?

I could complain about how after I did all my weekend work, I messed up the recording and didn't get to watch the Wednesday games after all. But really, I can't complain because it was my fault, and anyway I'm guessing it's really harder to be Jurgen Klinsmann.

Jurgen's no pimp (one trusts), but he has had a rough week. After seeing his German team get mauled in their midweek friendly with Italy, there was talk of a government inquiry into his tactics. (That is to say, the government of the country, not the football federation.) Today it was announced that Klinsmann has the support of the Interior Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble, although Schaeuble's remark that he doesn't "see any point in changing horses in the middle of a race" hardly seems like a ringing endorsement.

Additionally, Klinsmann is being criticized by Franz Beckenbauer for not attending a World Cup coaches workshop. This workshops sounds to me like the international soccer equivalent of one of those pointless work meetings in which nothing important is said, so I can't blame him for going back to Cali, but Franz says it's a big deal.

A lot of the Klinsmann criticism has always come down to the fact that he basically telecommutes from California. This criticism seems silly to me; as long as he's watching the Bundesliga matches regularly, there's really no need to spend the whole time there, when the only thing there will be for him to do is to answer silly questions about meaningless friendlies. But bearing in mind how skittish the host nation is about their chances, maybe it would be politic for Klinsmann to work back in Germany more often.

But don't worry about your Cup chances, Germany! Like Baldrick, Klinsmann has a cunning plan....

UPDATE: It's not really relevant to his situation, but the Guardian gives us a fun glimpse into Klinsmann's political leanings: he drives a VW Beetle and votes for the Green party! An anti-Paolo di Canio, if you will.

Lost in translation... or not

Check out the cover of this morning's Kicker magazine. Let's just say that I wasn't reaching for the babel fish to find out what they thought of Germany's performance. Their ratings of the German team are hilarious; three players get the "6" grade--a perfect failure.

The rest of the German press were hardly kinder.

Wednesday results

So the biggest result is undoubtedly coming out of the beautiful and artistic city of Florence, where host nation Germany received an artfully applied 4-1 smackdown at the hands of Italy. Offhand, I can't think of a World Cup host getting beaten quite so badly so close before the start of the finals. A day or two ago, I wondered about how the dropping of Christian Woerns might affect the Germans; apparently the answer is that they're going to concede a lot more goals. Surely the German press is cooking up a right roasting for Jurgen Klinsman even as I speak.

At least Germany was playing away from home against a world class opponent. That's more than can be said for France, who were beaten 2-1 by non-qualifiers Slovakia in the Stade de France, scene of their extraordinary triumph eight years ago. In my opinion, this result is much worse than the Germany-Italy match; I mean, a full France team gearing up for a major tournament should be able to dispose of a team like Slovakia quite easily. Instead, by all accounts, their performance sucked ass. A lesser manager might be having second thoughts about his player selection and tactics; however, Raymond Domenech is apparently made of sterner stuff.

But let us not dwell on the negative! The US triumphed 1-0 over Poland in a match played in a blizzard. An opportunistic Clint Dempsey goal won it for the Americans. I'll be posting fuller thoughts when I... er... watch it this weekend. Ditto on England's 2-1 triumph over the Uruk-hai.

Good days too for Croatia, who came back to beat Argentina 3-2 and Portugal, who easily sailed through Saudi Arabia. Brazil managed to emerge from Russia without any injuries or outbreaks of hypothermia. And Spain just edged a thriller against Cote d'Ivoire, who surely have served notice that they will be contesting Group C to the fullest.

Working class dog

So normally, what I would do with these friendlies is set the home recording equipment and watch them after work. Unfortunately, the circumstances of my employment right now involve me being away from home for the work week. And this weekend, I'll be attending a conference. So frustratingly, I won't be able to watch US-Poland, England-Uruguay, and Mexico-Ghana until Sunday. Sigh. I'll be posting my thoughts about those games then, and posting ill-informed opinions based on match reports until then.

It looks like the big story today will be the weather: it's freezing pretty much all over central and eastern Europe. And you have to wonder what was going on in the minds of the Brazilian federation when they agreed to play in Russia in March. It won't feel too much like Sao Paolo.

Dear Mr. Fantasy...

With three months to go to the Cup, we're at that wonderful heady stage where every true fan knows their country will win it all. If, like me, you are sailing in that fantastic ship of World Cup optimism, oblivious to the Iceberg of Reality for which you are setting an inexorable course, you'll want to try out the way fun BBC World Cup predictor. Just enter in your predicted scores in the first round and watch your Bizarro-world knockout stage take shape!

Tuesday friendles

A couple of early matches today involving World Cup contenders. Japan needed a last minute Nakata goal to scrape a 2-2 draw with Bosnia, in a performance that hardly bodes well for that match against Croatia.

Trinidad and Tobago play Iceland later today at Loftus Road, which will basically be a home crowd for the Soca Warriors.

UPDATE: And T&T wins it!! 2-0 off two goals from Dwight Yorke, who seems to be going through something of a (West) Indian summer. The match reports are saying the Icelanders didn't give two herrings about this match and that it showed in their performance, but it's still a win over a European team in Europe.

I honestly don't think T&T will do much in Group B--it's true they've improved a lot over the past year, but I still don't think they're good enough. Nonetheless, this is the kind of result that will give them belief.

Kaiserslautern: A Los Angeles of our very own

Michael Lewis's preview of US-Poland makes the point that the crowd in Kaiserslautern for tomorrow's match should be more pro-American than any match actually played in America. With 50,000-strong Rammstein Air Force base nearby (which is where the team is staying), and with the stadium a comfortable distance from the Polish border, the majority of the crowd will probably be loud, patriotic American soldiers and their families. Awesome.

My strong suspicion is that this won't translate even slightly to the match against Italy in June. The allottment for each country is pretty small, so the stadium will be dominated by neutrals. And in 2006, with Dubya as our president, I'm hardly confident that the neutrals will be with us. The South Koreans hated us and we hadn't even invaded Iraq at that point.

Middle English

In this Guardian interview, Steven Gerrard makes a good point about the pillorying of his England midfield partnership with Frank Lampard: that the two of them have barely played together since Euro 2004. And in that tournament, a terrible backpass from Gerrard against France notwithstanding, they played pretty well together in an England team that was a bad refereeing decision away from eliminating the host nation in the quarters.

UPDATE: All that is moot for the time being, as Lampard withdraws from the Uruk-hai match with a tight hamstring. Carrick will take his place, allowing Gerrard to push further forward in the center.

Cote d'Ivoire pullout possibility

I'm guessing this is a politically motivated act designed to drain rebel morale, but still it would be terrible if this actually happened.

Hey, they laughed at Aime Jacquet too!

Zidane thinks that an older than dirt France squad will win the World Cup. Some fun quotes from his L'Equipe interview....

"We are not going to play a World Cup just for the pleasure of taking part. I don't know if we'll win it but we can make it, I'd stake my life on it," he added.

Staking one's life on a potentiality isn't much of a risk. I'd stake my life that it's possible Trinidad could win the cup, but I wouldn't stake a dime on them actually doing so.

"I'm 33, I'll be 34 in Germany. When one has won the World Cup and lost it four years later, winning it back is an magnificent and imperious obligation."

What the hell? I really hope that "an magnificent and imperious obligation" is the result of a close encounter with a Babelfish translator.

"You know, I did not come back to play the clown," said the Real Madrid star.

Shame. Zidane would have definitely been the sad clown.

Kaaahhhhnnnn!

Everybody loves a goalkeeper controversy! And Germany's is a tough one: a choice between 36 year old Bayern Munich keeper Oliver Kahn, and 36 year old Arsenal keeper Jens Lehmann. Adding to the piquancy is the fact that they hate each other's guts.

Jurgen Klinsmann has been preferring a rotation policy in the Germany goal over the last year or so, alternating between picking the two. But as Eteocles and Polynices could tell you, these power-sharing agreements never work out, and sure enough, it's just made Oliver and Jens both miserable. And of course Klinsmann will have to make a decision before the Cup. Conveniently, Kahn is injured for the Italy friendly on Wednesday, but that just puts off that decision for another day.

It's hard for a neutral to know who to root for. Four years ago I'd have said Kahn, who not only looks like the love child of Neil Young and Peter Noone, but also has some amusing homonymic namesakes. But Lehmann has been mightily entertaining in the Arsenal matches I've seen this year, leaping out of goal to play emergency sweeper, and generally being a bit bonkers. So may the funniest man win.

P.S. Germany has already controversially purged itself of one drama queen: defender Christian Woerns sounded off about his exclusion from the Italy squad and now Klinsmann says he's off the Cup squad. A Steve Sampson/John Harkes shark-jumping moment? It's fair to say that if Germany lose against Italy this Wednesday there'll be an increasing sense of panic about Deutschland's chances.

England squad for Uruguay

After making sure no one got crocked in the Saturday matches, Sven-Goran Eriksson announced a 23 man squad to face Uruguay midweek. I agree with the writer's assessment that this is a pretty unsurprising roster, bearing in mind injuries to the likes of Owen and Ashley Cole.

As always, the big question will be sorting out the midfield: both who to play on the left and whether or not you can get away with having Gerrard and Lampard in the same midfield with no holding player behind them. With regard to the latter question, I've always felt that you can, provided you are a good enough manager to let Gerrard know what his role will be (after all, he started off at Liverpool as being much more of a holding player, until people realized how dangerous he was in attack.) I suspect the temptation to have both of them in there from the start will keep Michael Carrick out of the starting XI.

Something interesting about the article: apparently the choices of Uruguay and later Jamaica as friendly opponents is motivated by a desire to simulate World Cup group opponents Paraguay and Trinidad. I've always found the logic of this kind of approach to be spurious. Sure, there are similarities in styles based on geographical region, but they are insignificant compared to the strategic preferences of a coach and the abilities of the players he has available to him. (They are also becoming levelled because of the globalization of the game.) Really, what do we learn about Paraguay by playing Uruguay?

The US played Mini-Mes of their 1998 World Cup group by scheduling friendlies against Austria, Macedonia and Kuwait, and look how well that turned out.

Dunivant out of Poland squad

... with a hip injury. (One assumes that US soccer is referring to the region of the body, and not suggesting that being injured is the cool thing to do.) No one will replace him on the roster, which makes sense with potential left backs Lewis, Spector, and Bocanegra already on the roster.

Pictures of match-play men

There's a very confusing story out there about a dispute between FIFA and media outlets. Basically, FIFA is trying to impose strict limits on the number of photographs the media can take of players in World Cup games, and where those pictures may be printed; FIFA wants to forbid the media from posting any pictures on the internet.

The World Association of Newspapers sez...

"Your restrictions on our journalistic coverage of the 2006 World Cup not only deprive our readers and clients of access to important information on a public event, but constitute both an interference in editorial freedom and independence and a clear breach of the right to information as protected by numerous international conventions."

They might as well have added, "Duh!" First off, how on earth can FIFA forbid publication of photographs of a public event. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, WTF??? Why would they even want to do such a thing? I mean, really, who cares if Reuters publish a picture of Wayne Rooney along with their story about the England-Sweden match up on a website. It'll hardly make people not want to watch the game.

The only thing I can think of is that Sepp Blatter wants everyone to go to the official FIFA Yahoo web site for their news, but that seems petty even for FIFA. I'll look around for some sort of official explanation.

Noonan out of US squad

He picked up a hamstring injury in the Revolution's Champions Cup draw against Alajuelense, and it looks like he's out for 3-4 weeks. Very bad luck.

UPDATE: Chris Klein is the replacement.

US squad for Poland

is announced here. For those too lazy to follow the link, the 20 man team is...

Goalkeepers (2) – Tim Howard (Manchester United), Kasey Keller (Borussia Moenchengladbach)

Defenders (7) –Gregg Berhalter (Energie Cottbus), Carlos Bocanegra (Fulham FC), Steve Cherundolo (Hannover 96), Todd Dunivant (Los Angeles Galaxy), Eddie Lewis (Leeds United), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard de Liege), Jonathan Spector (Charlton Athletic)

Midfielders (6) –DaMarcus Beasley (PSV Eindhoven), Bobby Convey (Reading FC), Clint Dempsey (New England Revolution), Landon Donovan (Los Angeles Galaxy), Pablo Mastroeni (Colorado Rapids), Kerry Zavagnin (Kansas City Wizards)

Forwards (5) – Eddie Johnson (Kansas City Wizards), Brian McBride (Fulham FC), Pat Noonan (New England Revolution), Taylor Twellman (New England Revolution), Josh Wolff (Kansas City Wizards)

As expected, this squad draws heavily on the European-based players. A few thoughts:

• Four (count 'em!) potential left backs in this squad. If only soccer were played in quarters, Arena could try them all. My guess is that Lewis will get a good look in that position on Wednesday, with someone else seeing action in the second half.
• No Pope and Conrad. I wouldn't read anything into that; with Berhalter, Bocanegra and Oneywu playing in Europe, there's no point in bringing the other two.
• No Cory Gibbs, who's only just started playing after a long term injury. My feeling is that with the competition at his position it will be difficult for him to make this team. However Jonathan Spector is there. Either Spector or Conrad for a final roster spot? (And do you really need five central defenders in your squad? My feeling is probably yes.)
• Mastroeni is healthy enough to go on this trip. A good sign, but I don't know if he'll be immediately thrown back into it against Poland or not.
• Five forwards. I suspect Arena will only take four to Germany and that it will be between Noonan and Wolff for the final spot. It would be nice to see Noonan play a little as a striker in this match.
• Howard is the backup goalie and not Marcus Hahnemann. Interesting.
• It occurs to me that you could throw Reyna, Pope and a third goalie on this roster and call this a World Cup squad. Although that's close to being correct, there are still some selection issues to resolve: Noonan/Wolff (with Hejduk maybe taking the place of the one not selected), Zavagnin/O'Brien, and Conrad/Spector are the three obvious selection choices. I think there's a more complex question at left back: can you bring both Lewis and Dunivant or do you pick one and use that space to bring on a fifth striker? Clearly that's one of the big issues Arena needs to resolve.

On outside backs

The New York Times's soccer coverage is frustratingly intermittent but today they have a nice feature on Heath Pearce, the player in the US squad mix whom most American fans know nothing about.

Pearce makes a very good point about the importance of outside backs: in competing 4-4-2 systems, they tend to see a lot of the ball, since there really isn't an opposing player whose natural role is to mark them. They have the time to look at the field and make a measured decision on who to pass to. One of the reasons David Regis had a lock on the outside back role in the first part of the Arena era is that for all his faults as a defender, he had great vision and was a good distributor. If you look at any England game in which David Beckham plays on the right, you'll notice that the most important player on the field becomes Gary Neville; the opposing defence pays so much attention to stopping Beckham from crossing that the Neviller gets the ball with time and space.

Frankie Hejduk has done yeoman's work as an outside right back, but in this regard Steve Cherundolo is a significant upgrade. On the left side, it's between Dunivant, Pearce and Lewis. Bocanegra is a good choice there only if you really aren't planning on actually attacking. Really, I think the best choice would be a healthy John O'Brien, but since that's not an adjective that is often appended to O'Brien's name I don't see it ever happening.

P.S. I grew up in England but never understood this: why do they call outside defenders "fullbacks" and central defenders "center halves". I know, tradition, yadda yadda yadda, but in today's game the nomenclatural logic makes no sense: the fullbacks are, after all, never fully back (since they're expected to push forward).

But he's our corrupt bureaucrat...

For anyone who's been following North American soccer over the last decade or so, Jack Warner's corruption is old news, but at least he used to be more subtle about it. Trinidad's qualification has clearly gone to his head.

UPDATE: Pile on.

Priorities

While the host nation may be fine with you visiting a house of ill-repute during your stay in Germany this summer, they just wish you wouldn't smoke so much while you did so.

March's matches

For European countries, the lst stage of World Cup preparations begins March 1st. Unlike the US, Mexico, Japan, etc., the European countries have been in the middle of league play and March 1st is the first international friendly date. It will be their first opportunity to gather together in their national teams this year, and our first opportunity to gauge the form of some of the favorites for the Cup.

Or not. Because as with any other sport, scrimmages are almost entirely useless as indicators of how well a team is playing. So even though the particpants will be taking proceedings with more seriousness than they would your average meaningless friendly, you should take results along with a whole punch bowl's worth of salt.

That being said, there are some tasty matchups on the menu. Tastiest of all for me is Germany vs. Italy: two traditional powers each with something to prove. Some other intriguing matches between qualifiers include Spain vs Cote D'Ivoire, Croatia vs. Argentina, Mexico vs. Ghana, and of course US vs. Poland. The latter two will be on free TV here in the States, as will the England Uruguay match. Squad announcements are starting to trickle out and will I'm sure be continuing this week..

All jokes aside...

... it looks like one of the major off-the-pitch stories about the 2006 World Cup will be prostitution. Germany has legalized prostitution and there have been a few articles about how upcoming tournament is expected to be something of a perfect storm for brothel proprietors. (I'm a little surprised that the EU doesn't have a standardized law about the legality of the profession, since they have all sorts of regulations about matters pertaining to employment and such.)

P.S. Nothing but a hilarious accident surely, but the MSNBC page I linked to above has a photo of Ronaldinho, a guy who knows a thing or two about sex workers....

It's that unhappy time...

... when players begin to pick up injuries that will certainly eliminate them from World Cup contention. Last weekend, Alan Smith incurred a horrific leg injury that will certainly eliminate him from World Cup consideration. It's hard to know if Smith was really in Sven-Goran Eriksson's thinking for the squad--Smith's had an up and down year as a converted defensive midfielder--but his versatility as a player would have made him an attractive prospect.

Someone who's much more of a lynchpin in his country's plans is frequent joke-butt Francesco Totti, who suffered a broken fibula in Roma's match with Empoli last weekend. Totti's case is one of those difficult "he'll be ready just in time for the World Cup" situations. If you're Marcelo Lippi, do you take him or not? Lippi would be pilloried if Totti was fit and left out of the squad, but playing back into form is a difficult thing to do during the Cup itself. (And especially when the player likely to be marking you in the first game is not exactly known for being a shrinking violet.)

Speaking as a clearly biased supporter of one of Italy's group E opponents, the best case scenario is that Totti recover in time for the Cup and is included in the starting eleven, but is generally out of shape and useless. Same goes for Jan Koller for that matter.

US-Guatemala postgame

Match report here.

Earlier, I predicted that this match could be something of a letdown for the US team, but fortunately it didn't turn out that way. It did start off as a fairly even contest, with the Chapines defending well and being quick in the tackle in midfield, something the US hasn't really faced in their previous couple of matches. But Ben Olsen's golazo seemed to stun Guatemala, and from then on the result was never really in doubt.

It's hard to know what Olsen's chances of making this squad really are. I'm not sure that he's an international-class center midfielder, but he is energetic, smart, and perhaps most importantly, versatile. He's well behind Reyna, O'Brien, Mastroeni, Zavagnin, Dempsey and Armas on the depth chart, but since a good two-thirds of those players tend to spend more time in the treatment room than on the field, Olsen could well find himself in contention. I suspect that he'll be in the travelling squad to Poland because of our lack of fit center midfielders, so we'll see how he performs over in Kaiserslautern.

Of the strikers, Eddie Johnson looked the most dangerous, although maybe not man of the match dangerous. Brian Ching had a nicely taken goal, but he also seemed to disappear occasionally. I wasn't half as enamored of Chris Rolfe as Soccer America apparently was , but I think that in a year or two more he'll be great. Josh Wolff was typically enigmatic. On one hand he doesn't seem to score much, but on the other it always seems like he might be about to, which sometimes is just what you need.

Other people with good days: Pope, Conrad, Zavagnin and Klein. Much more so than the other three, Klein needed one desperately. His performance had a few errors, but he was influential throughout, and had a very well taken goal.

Overall a very nice performance, about the best we could have helped for considering the circumstances. I can't help but notice that we are 2-0-0 with a goal difference of +9 in games where Dave O'Brien is the commentator. I can't decide whether or not this is an adequate compensation for his unbearable use of the term "Team USA."

"Scram kids... it's Halo time!"

This profile of likely US backup goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann reveals him as both a nice guy and an obsessive-compulsive video game addict. Maybe I should have been a goalkeeper.

US-Guatemala preview

An odd one this. In preparation for the Champions Cup, Arena has released from camp the players from the LA Galaxy and the New England Revolution. Problem is, that's half our starting lineup from the last two games, and the really good half at that. So we're essentially employing a B-minus, C+ team against the Chapines.

And maybe that's for the best. Guatemala was a big disappointment in the final round of World Cup qualifying, but they're bringing an experienced squad (including star Carlos Ruiz, Galaxy hero/reject Pando Ramirez and ex-MLS journeyman Martin Machon). After the performances against Norway and Japan, this match seems destined to be a letdown.

The most interesting aspect of the US team to watch will be the strikers. Eddie Johnson, Josh Wolff and Brian Ching's performances for the US have not really been stellar over the last few months, and all three will want to make a statement to Arena that they belong on this team. I suspect you'll see Wolff and Johnson start the game and Ching, who I imagine is fifth on the US depth chart at forward, to get some second half time.

Hmm, the technical director of Guatemala is one Marlon Ivan Leon. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this the same Marlon Ivan Leon who tried to cripple the entire US squad during a qualifier at RFK 8 years ago? Maybe Marcelo Balboa can whack him during the halftime break.

Mexico-Korea...

... ended up 1-0 to the visitors, thanks to a freaky mistake by Oswaldo Sanchez, in which, after having made a save, he rolled the ball too far forward on the ground in preparation to kick it, whereupon a Korean attacker opportunistically got there first and kicked it into the net. Wouldn't it have been fantastic if he had done that in the World Cup with everyone watching?

A good performance by Korea in front of what was essentially a Mexican home crowd (Los Angeles, the most unneutral neutral site in soccer).

The quiet man

Every so often, someone in the US player pool gets his own little descriptive narrative that commentators can use in times of need. For instance, Chris Armas is "a terrier in midfield", Chris Klein is "a worker," David Regis was a "classy" defender and so on. You know what I mean.

So one of the emergent cliches is the "quiet" or "unnoticed" Pat Noonan. I think that what makes Noonan the George Harrison of the New England Revolution and now the US national team is that he doesn't fall into one of the classifications that we tend to use to describe strikers. He's fast but not a speedster, good in the air but not quite a target man, skilled but not quite a Cristiano Ronaldo-style trick machine.

Noonan had a very good couple of games, and Arena singled him out for praise in his recent conference call:

Pat Noonan, I think, is a terrific player. I really like him, he has a great personality. He’s good for our team on the field and off. He’s a real winner and a great competitor, as are all the Revolution players.... Pat, I think, had his best game ever for the national team against Japan. He played well on both sides of the ball. He was involved in one play that set up a goal. He was involved in a bunch of other plays that created goal-scoring opportunities, and, as I said, played well on both sides of the ball. He was a lot more comfortable on the ball and had a very good game against the right-sided Japanese players. He had a super game.

In terms of making the Germany squad, however, Noonan has a bit of a problem. He's been used as a temporary left midfielder, a position in which he's behind Beasley, Convey and Lewis in the depth chart. (O'Brien maybe too.) His best chance of making the squad is at striker, a position that he hasn't really yet played on the national team. For the moment, I think Noonan is on the outside looking in, but injuries and/or an exceptional start of the season for the Revs might change things.

US Japan thoughts

Ack... I've had a hellaciously busy last few days and unable to post about the fine US victory over Japan until now.

What surprised me about the game was how very similar it was to the Norway game in terms of the both the dynamic of the match and the performance of the US players. After taking five minutes to settle, the Americans once again dominated the match. For sixty minutes, an experienced Japan side simply could not play themselves out of their own half. And just as in the Norway game, it was Twellman, Dempsey, Noonan, Donovan and Zavagnin who were bossing the field. The Dempsey goal was simply sublime--magnificently worked by he, Twellman and Wolff. Zico looked shellshocked at the end of the first half.

The outside backs once again got a lot of time and space to do what they want. Given that, you'd have laid money on Chris Klein having a field day, but his touch was erratic: a few good crosses, but several misplayed ones. Dunivant had more success on the left, and did his chances of making this squad even more good.

Pope and Conrad both had good outings. In two matches, Pope has made himself the odds on favorite to start alongside Oneywu.

The substitutions--and particularly Dempsey's--clearly disrupted the US rhythm. I was actually out of the room for the first Japanese goal, but at least judging by the replay, it's hard not to agree with Marcelo Balboa that Klein was too easily out-muscled by his marker. The second goal was a great strike, but Chris Rolfe should have probably cleared it; he got beat on the inside post Mike Burns-style.

And while we're complaining, can we practice the corner kicks this week Landon? I lost count of how many of them didn't beat the first man, a criminal waste considering we had a good three inch height advantage over the Japanese.

Overall though, a very fine outing by the US against a team that really came to play. It'll be interesting to see who from this squad will be selected for the squad for the Poland match on March 1st

Korea-LA

South Korea's World Cup preparations continue apace with a 3-0 victory over the out-of-season, out-of shape LA Galaxy. That'll teach all those snippy Galaxy fans who used to scurrilously mock Hong Myung-Bo.

P.S. That was irony. Hong really did phone it in during his Galaxy days.

Incensed fans

Is your Thursday afternoon dragging? Liven it up with this fun gallery of African Cup fans from the BBC! Here are my favorites:



Togo is already a cool country name. But it becomes that much cooler when it's emblazoned on your naked turquoise-painted body. Note how the final "o" circles his navel: a nice touch.












Dude's got a burning jar of incense on his head! How awesome is that?

US Japan preview

Frank Dell'Apa makes a good point about the similarities between the US and Japanese national teams: they both have young improving domestic leagues who contribute to a certain percentage of their World Cup squad. Consequently, Japan are at a similar stage of preparation to our own; they're trying to see who from the J-league will excel on the national team and join the established European-based stars for the World Cup.

As a result, the Japanese squad that faces the US on Friday night (11PM ET on ESPN 2) is entirely from the J-league. It seems like a pretty good group; some established figures, such as Ono and Miyamoto and plenty of young hopefuls. It will probably be the stiffest challenge the US has faced so far in this winter.

Here are the twenty squad members, Arena's taking with him to the match in San Francisco. I'm guessing Arena doesn't tinker too much with the starting group that dismantled Norway ten days ago. Many of that group, such as Twellman, Dempsey, Conrad, Dunivant and Zavagnin, are currently towards the right side of the squad cutoff, and Arena will want to see how they perform against a motivated team who's going to be at the World Cup.

A couple of changes I think you will see. The first is at right back; Hejduk is injured, so chances are that Chris Klein will be used in that position. I really think that, in terms of making the squad, Klein is on the outside looking in at the moment, so this could be his opportunity to make a case for himself. He'll particularly will want to get into the attack, and provide good dangerous crosses. (You could also put Conrad there, but I think Arena will want to preserve the Pope-Conrad central defense pairing. Or you go three in the back, but given the general shortage of wing players, I don't think this will happen.)

The second change, I'm guessing, will be at forward. Eddie Johnson is fit once again, and I really think that Arena will want to have him alongside Twellman. This is a potentially explosive front line if they can develop an understanding, and this match will be an excellent opportunity to test that possibility. I'd like to see Chris Rolfe get some time as a sub, too.

Incidentally, they've sold about 28,000 tickets for this one already. Nice. I'm guessing that's partially down to Japanese expatriate fans and partially down to disgruntled Earthquakes fans who are sensing that this is the only live soccer they'll see in 2006.

Turkey and Swiss with a pickle on the side

So as you may know, the playoff match between Switzerland and Turkey ended in a righteous brawl that involved... well... pretty much everybody in the stadium. As a quick glance at this photograph indicates, sandwich metaphors are not entirely inappropriate.

Today FIFA handed down the punishments and boy do they ever suck for the Turks. They've been ordered to play their next six games behind close doors and on neutral ground. This is a big deal for Turkey because their home crowds are legendarily intimidating and have played a big part in their recent success over the last ten years. Those 60,000 screaming partisans will now be replaced by a handful of disinterested janitorial staff. And there won't be those "Welcome to Hell" signs at Istanbul airport in the Euro 2008 qualifiers. Perhaps they could get some locals at whatever country the Turks play in to greet the opposing team with signs that say "Welcome to Heck".

Needless to say, it severely hampers their Euro 2008 qualification chances. If you're a Greek fan, you probably haven't stopped laughing yet.

For the Swiss, who have more immediate World Cup concerns, things aren't so bad. They lose Benjamin Huggel with a six match suspension, but he was primarily a substitute in their qualifying campaign.

Cup o' Nations final...

will be between Egypt and Cote D'Ivoire, who'll play in Friday's final. The battle between the two London-based stars--Mido and Didier Drogba--will be the dominant narrative going into this one.

UPDATE: Or maybe not. Mido suspended from Egyptian team after a really funny argument ("No, it is you who are the donkey....") with the coach on the touchline after he was substituted. Punchline: the substitute scored the winning goal.

Shameful

It's in the British tabloids, so who knows if it's true or not, but if so, it's disgusting that Congo DR's football federation withheld the news of his son's death from Lomana Tresor LuaLua until the team was eliminated.

It's not online, sadly...

...but in last week's New Yorker, there was a great article on Malcolm Glazer's takeover of Manchester United that did a nice job of illustrating the fascinating class dynamics of English football culture, as well as the economic realities of the Premier League. Check it out, if you get a chance.

African Cup of Nations Update

It's semifinal time over at the African Cup, and the lineup consists of hosts Egypt taking on Senegal, and Nigeria against Cote D'Ivoire in the other match.

(Editorial note: I've decided on saying "Cote D'Ivoire" rather than the Anglicized "Ivory Coast," partially because it's what they are officially designated at the FIFA website, and partially because it sounds cooler.)

Of these four, only the Ivorians, who prevailed in a monumental 12-11 penalty shootout against Cameroon (in which Samuel Eto'o, of all people, missed the critical penalty), are going to the World Cup. I doubt early elimination is going to hurt unduly the chances of Tunisia, Togo, Angola and Ghana at the World Cup, but I do think the Ivorians gain a great psychological benefit if they overcome Nigeria tomorrow. An appearance in the finals, and a tournament performance in which they beat both of the giants of African soccer, will give them incredible confidence as they prepare for that tricky Argentina-Holland group.

In the other match, I would expect the hosts to brush aside Senegal, who only won one match in the group stages, and to come back to win against underdogs Guinea in the quarters.

Don't you wish...

that you could cancel meetings with your critics? I sure do.

The Kaiser speaketh...

Visiting England as part of an "organizing committee welcome tour" (huh?), Franz Beckenbauer said that it is "impossible" for Germany to be knocked out of the first round of the cup.

Seems like that's just asking for the Fates to smite them down this summer. (That group isn't that easy.)

In another pronouncemeent, the Kaiser says that Gus Hiddink should be the next England coach. I'm sure the FA will be mightily relieved to hear that, because you know the one person the English always consult before hiring a new manager is Franz Beckenbauer....

Adu, Freddy

This article on the effect of l'affaire Adu on DC United's Cup performance last year also contains the little detail that he will be released to his club team before the US's next friendly against Japan.

For the record, I was something of a dissenter on Adu's Cup chances prior to the January camp. Freddy potentially brings something to the US side that isn't in huge supply: an explosive off the bench option in midfield who can dribble at tired defenders and gain a free kick or two. Arena probably wanted to gauge his progress in this camp with that role in mind, but it quickly became obvious that he wasn't going to make the team; Arena made some pretty unequivocal comments to that effect a couple of weeks back. Until 2010, then....