Monday, July 10, 2006

ZZ's top

Real life got in the way of blogging over the last couple of weeks of the World Cup, and I didn't get to talk about half the things I wanted to discuss--the rehabilitation of Klinsmann, appaling Portugal, that Grosso goal, etc. But I would be remiss if I didn't take a few minutes to discuss l'affaire Zidane, the incident that will be the defining moment of this World Cup in the public memory.

So many things about the moment were extraordinary. Its perpetrator, of course. Its sheer violence. The unexpectedness of it all--few viewers, I suspect, noticed anything untowards between Materazzi and Zidane prior to this incident. The fact that it happened in overtime in the World Cup final, for heaven's sake.

But what made this so unbelieveable to the entire world, I think, is the way it was such a U-turn in the narrative we all built up around this World Cup. For the predominant story that emerged in this tournament was the one-last-time, mock-the-clock efforts of the French national team. Zidane epitomized it--the former hero playing in his last games ever. That he was so bad prior to the Cup only intensified the story by making his performances against Spain and Brazil all the more compelling. And now clearly this story was going to end in a glorious conclusion. ZZ scored the first goal with an impudent chipped penalty. Italy equalized but in the second half, the French were carrying all the play. On some unconscious level, we all expected that Zidane would score or make the winning goal. It was going to happen.

And it so nearly did. Think of how different everything would have been if Zidane had placed that injury time header to either corner instead of right above Buffon. It would have been one of the great moments of sports in the 21st century so far. The script was written, but a fine Buffon save denied it.

And then the narrative was turned on its head. In a flash, he went from being the universally beloved hero to the indefensible villain. Can you think of a movie where the hero takes such a remarkable an abrupt moral U-turn? Today in Slate, Robert Weintraub likened the moment to a completely un-Hollywood ending, and he's exactly right. That's why hours later, myself and so many other fans were slack-jawed in disbelief. Did we just see that?

Of course, there's another tantalizing aspect of this story: the question of motive. What precisely did Materazzi say to cause Zizou to melt down? Rumours--and they're all we have for the moment-- are divided between something sexual (the "your sister is a prostitute" story) and something political. It's the latter that's the most intriguing: did Materazzi call him a terrorist? Or did he, as suggested on the New Republic's blog, call Zidane's father a harki, the term for Algerians who fought on the side of the French in the Algerian war for independence?

If it's a political thing, my suspicion is that history is going to judge Zizou kindly. Unlike the fabulous Cannavaro, Materazzi is an anonymous oafish defender, and proof of a racist comment will cast him as the villain--indeed, a montage of his previous hackjobs is currently one of the most watched videos on YouTube. The precise premeditation of Zizou's assault will seem justified, a blow for honor and justice against provocation. I'm not saying this is right, but I think it will be seen that way if the racism explanation is believed.

The rehabilitation of Zidane has already started with his comical naming as the tournament's best player. The moral victor of that award was of course Fabio Cannavaro, who has had a stunning tournament, and is certainly the best player in the world at his position at the moment.

I don't want to take this point too far, but there's distinctly a figurative quality to all this. The triumphant French team in 1998 was seen as a synecdoche for modern France--multicultural and unified. Zidane's story in 2006 is a symbolic mirror to the French political situation in 2006. Surface unity and an uncomfortable sense of Frenchness give way to sudden violence after (racial?) provocation.

In terms of sports, it was a pretty good game, better than the last Cup final for sure. But in terms of drama, it was almost Shakespearean.


Anyway, this is it from the Conspiracy for the time being. Thank you for reading my coverage. I might resurrect it in 2007 as the international game heats up... we'll see. Take care.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Stomp!

Oh my. Really the English loss to Portugal was so archetypal that it verged on satire. England, playing well, has a star controversially sent off, pluckily soldiers on with ten men, and then finally succumbs to the inevitable penalty shootout.

A few thoughts. At first, I thought Rooney's podiatric incursion into Ricardo Carvalho's joy department was unintentional. Then, looking back at the replay, I began to have my doubts. And after all, it is Wayne Rooney, whose potato-like head clearly harbors unsepakable thoughts. Now I really can't decide. And adding to the general confusion is the fact that no one really knows what the red card was actually for. Was it the stomp or the meaningless shove on Cristiano Ronaldo? It was incredibly indeterminate.

I think that Sven should have used his third substitution earlier, and brought on someone for Lampard, whose tiring was not helping his general uselessness in extra time. Knowing that they surely would tonk it in penalties, I'd have brought on Theo Walcott, and told him to play in the midfield and run a lot. Why did Sven bring him anyway? That particular gambit was useless, since he didn't play a minute.

Portugal sucked. A man up and they didn't really try and push the game; in fact, they were rarely threatening in any way. I'd say they might be better if Deco was back, but he hasn't been that impressive so far in the Cup. Hopefully France will put them to the sword, like they did Brazil.


Speaking of which... yeah, Brazil. Why precisely were they tournament favorites again? They studiously avoided any team of quality in their pre-Cup warm ups. They trundled through a not very difficult group after being pushed by Croatia and Australia. And when they played their first quality team, they folded like an origami artist. They were by far the worst of the quarter-final teams, including Ukraine. Why did they suck so very much today?

The fault may lie with Parriera moving Ronaldinho too far forward and bringing in Juninho, but really I think the defensive midfield let them down today. The Brazilian system depends on two holding midfielders who can hold the game up, disrupt their opponent and square the ball to their stars so that they can attack. Gilberto Silva was totally missing in action today; he could do nothing about Zidane. Ze Roberto went on some marauding runs, but didn't clog up the middle. Maybe Juninho messed up the roles, with Ze Roberto thinking he should get out to the wings. Either way, it was a dismal performance from the so-called practitioners of the beautiful game.

And Ronaldinho is clearly the flop of the tournament. World Cup 2006's anointed star did almost nothing to justify the billing.

Really, it's been an immensely disappointing knockout stage so far. Too many timid coaches refusing to commit numbers forward and too many red cards that have forced the hands of some potentially more adventurous teams. The France win over Spain and the Argentina win over Mexico will be remembered as exciting, but the quarters have been dreadful, especially considering all the enthralling soccer that has been played at that stage over the years.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Refereeing

The big controversy in this World Cup is the refereeing. Mind you, the big controversy in the last few World Cups has been the refereeing, but this time, apparently, it's serious. And there have been some very dodgy calls--the red card and penalty in today's Italy-Australia game to name but two examples.

But the primary evidence for the refereeing crisis is yesterday's Netherlands-Portugal match. Potentially a classic, it was instead a foul-tempered affair that set a record for yellow and red cards shown. Even renowned idiot Sepp Blatter jumped on referee Valentin Ivanov after the match:

"I consider that today the referee was not at the same level as the participants, the players. There could have been a yellow card for the referee," Blatter told Portugal's SIC television channel.

Not at the same level of the participants??? WTF game was he watching?

Listen, the ref could have done more to manage that game, and the red card on Boulahrouz was questionable. But frankly almost every other card on every participant was deserved. Both yellows on Costinha were justified, and the second was so unimaginably stupid that he should have a multi-match ban just for being a plonker. I understand Deco was pissed after Heitinga refused to give the ball back after kicking it out. But that first challenge was horrendous, and, yes, he clealry deserved the second yellow card for kicking the ball away. What's more, Portugal got off easy. Figo should have been red carded for the headbutt.

And the Netherlands were disgraceful. So many of their players took dives at the slightest contact, especially Van Bommel, who should also be facing a ban for unsportsmanlike behavior by exaggerating the effects of Figo's headbutt. (One of the many potential benefits of video technology.) No one will miss them.

So Blatter and the ABC-ESPN commentariat should lay off Ivanov and instead criticize the players who left him with little choice after a thoroughly foul (but admittedly engrossing) game. The only winner in this game was England, who now get to face a tired and Deco-less Portugal in the quarters.

Day of desolation

Wow, I found it a lot easier to blog when there weren't any, you know, real games going on. After watching two or three games a day, I find myself needing to do those real life things that get neglected when a World Cup is on, and consequently the Conspiracy has been a bit ignored this weekend. Being debilitatingly bummed after the USA's dismissal didn't help.

Anyway speaking of bummers, god help you if you watched Ukraine's penalty kick victory over the Swiss today. This complete and utter tedium that this game generating was, in and of itself, fascinating, so much so that it generated a wire article solely devoted to how dull it was. Football365 called it "the worst game in World Cup history."

So how did this game, played at the highest of stakes, get to be so bad? Basically, both sides wanted to counterpunch, and neither were willing to be the one to force the play. Consequently, too few players got forward to support the attack. Couple that with a basic lack of quality, and the result was awful. It's really a shame you couldn't have told both teams at the final whistle, "right, if neither of you score in extra time, we're going to let Mexico go through in your place, because they were great and you were awful." Then you'd have seen some play.

It's a shame that coaches and players have become so afraid of losing that they're unwilling to actually go out and win a game. If I were the Swiss coach I'd have thought, "you know, we will never ever get a better draw than this in the last 16 of the World Cup. Let's go out and make our country proud." But instead he told them not to lose. Crazy.


Of the four teams today, it was ironically only Italy who were committed to the attack. Knowing their would surely be outlasted by Australia in extra time, they committed some numbers forward, and got a bogus penalty as their reward. bad luck for the Aussies who fought hard and maybe deserved better.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

USA vs Ghana

Cut and pasted directly from an e-mail I sent after the game. Viva Australia!



Oh that was horrible.
Bad call or no bad call, what the F**K was Bocanegra doing on the play leading up to the penalty. All he has to do is knock it into touch and have the US regroup for the throw in. Instead he skies it and heads his own ball into the penalty area. Reyna's error on the first goal was also stupid; he should have slammed the ball up the field. Those were rec league defending errors.
In general, I thought the selction was totally wussy. In a game where you need service and you need a win, why do you put out that lineup? Why do we wait until the 60th minute for a second striker? If Arena didn't trust Johnson, go with Wolff who has speed, experience and some nice touches. Why have Bocanegra on the back line in the first place when you've trained Lewis as a left back? Start Lewis behind Beasley, let Beas go forward on runs and draw defenders and let Lewis serve the ball to two targets. Sure it's a riskier lineup, but you know, we _needed to win_.
And the frustrating thing was that Ghana was nervous as f**k in the beginning. If we had played a high pressure game in that first half, we'd have never let them get into a rhythm. Arena used to tell his teams to do that... what happened?
And the other frustrating thing is that Italy won! 1-0 would have sent us through!
So bad coaching and bad playing. Dempsey did well in this cup and so did Convey, Cherundolo and Conrad, but that's about it.
My suspicion is that Arena is out, with the candidates to replace him being Jurgen Klinsmann, Steve Nicol, and whoever gets fired in the next week or so.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

England, Mexico, etc.

So far, the last games in the group phase haven't produced nearly the drama as they have done in the recent past. Groups A & C were over after two rounds, and the underdogs in B & D--Trinidad and Angola--just didn't have enough quality to come up with the goods when they needed to. (The case of Angola is particularly galling, because I had my "Angola Miracle" headline all ready. Sure, I could save it for the future, but the aural pun on Angela Merkel just doesn't work if the Cup's not played in Germany.)

Consequently, England, Sweden and Mexico have gotten through to the next round despite each of them spending much of the tournament playing like ass. For instance, England played precisely one good half against Sweden, but they squandered that by some really comical defending and general lassitude in the second half. Now they face a knockout stage without Michael Owen, who tore an ACL in the first minute against the Swedes. Sven-Goran Erikkson is taking heat for having brought too many holding midfielders and not enough strikers, and rightfully so.

The bright side for England is that Hargreaves played well as a holding midfielder, allowing Lampard and then Gerrard to play their natural attacking game. My guess is this means that Sven will go 4-5-1, with Rooney as the lone front man. What he should do is play Aaron Lennon, take off Lampard, who's looked blah in the group stage, and give Beckham license to roam. Too often, Beckham was isolated on the right side, with his teammates not finding him with the ball. Having Lennon over there will open up space for Beckham to hang back and distribute, which is what happened when Lennon was brought on vs. T&T.


Mexico looked good at times during their 2-1 loss to Portugal, but there were moments of unmitigated stupid: Bravo's penalty miss, Marquez's handball, playing Marquez in the the middle in the first place, etc. They were lucky a better team than Angola wasn't there; Ghana or Ivory Coast would have gotten out of this group. And it's really galling for me as a US fan to know that Mexico won the seed of this group just over the US. We could have gone 1-1-1 and played poorly just as well as the Mexicans can.

In any case, the real drama is going to happen tomorrow with groups E through G.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Match day 10 & 11 review

Normal, everyday life caught up with me in a big way over the last few days, so my viewing on Sunday and Monday was sporadic (better, I thought, to pace your self for the last set of group games this week.) Here are some isolated thoughts from the last six games.

Is it me, or has Ronaldinho not shown up for the Cup yet? Everyone is talking about Ronaldo--fat, fat, fat... but no one has pointed out that Ronaldinho has not been a shadow of the player he's been for Barcelona. I can't figure out if he's tired after a long season, if he's having trouble working with Kaka, or if he's just saving himself for the games to come. In any case, he certainly has not been all that. I could say the same thing for Adriano, until he popped up to score the nice goal that put away Australia.

I suspect that there's not much to worry about for the Brazilians. The most important thing is that you get through to the next round... you can worry about playing well later. Same goes for England for that matter.

Speaking of the next round, you have to fancy Australia for the last spot in group F. All they need is a tie against the Croatians and they are through... and based on how they played against Brazil, they're more than capable of getting it. My guess is that their biggest enemy will be weariness. They expended a lot of energy in the Brazil game, and I think there's a fair chance of them coming out flat, especially with so many semi-injured players on their squad.


France... still lame. They can feel aggrieved that that goal didn't go in (I'm pro video replays, by the way. Allow one replay request per game on each team and let the ref and the 4th official view. Only hidebound traditionalism prevents them from doing it.) On the other hand, they're kind of in a good position here, since they have to play against an eliminated Togo in the last game. Go at them hammer and tongs and you're automatically though to the final round, and if Korea and Switzerland tie (a not unlikely result) and you can snatch the group on goal difference. It's that possibility that made the second Switzerland goal against Togo today so important. Those nudniks Davis and Messing (remind me to blog about my burgeoning Shep Messing hatred later) were saying the Swiss should sit on the lead. But that second goal gave them the advantage in goal difference. Now a tie definitely gets the Swiss through, and might give them the group if France can't beat Togo. Interesting stuff.


It was a shame that Tunisia couldn't hold on to their lead, but once they let the Raul goal in, the rest of the goals didn't matter. They still need to beat Ukraine to go through to the next round; a tie would have done them no good.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Match day Nine review

Have you ever seen one of those "Emotion" refrigerator magnets? It has a set of about 25 silly faces on them, each corresponding to a different emotion. You're supposed to put a little magnetic frame over the emotion you're feeling that day, so for instance, if you feel cheerful, you put the frame around the little cheerful face.

I bring this up because if I had such a magnet right now, it couldn't capture the weird mix of emotions I'm feeling about the USA's 1-1 draw with Italy. It's a blended cocktail of pride, relief, and anger, with a shot of exhaustion poured in at the end. (Which I realize is not an emotion. Please excuse me; I'm a bit of a basket case at the moment.)

I think it's good at this point just to look at the scoreline for a moment and not think about what actually happened in the game, which the Guardian have called "one of the most surreal matches in World Cup history." Every US fan would have happily taken a 1-1 draw against Italy. In fact, the notion of us even drawing a major power like Italy in a World Cup would have been unthinkable even five years ago. So it's an incredible result just from that perspective.

To think that we did it 9 on 10 for half the game is simply extraordinary. What a performance by the players. As a team, they looked less exhausted than the Italians at the end (Reyna being the big exception. I expected Olsen to come on for him, but I think Arena didn't want to risk a last minute injury and go down to 8.) Keller... massive. Onyewu... massive. Donovan... one of his best games for the US. He brought stability just when the US needed it and ran tirelessly. Convey and Dempsey were great before their inevitable sacrifices. Conrad... made his World Cup debut by coming in against a world power with only eight other teammates. Incredible.

There's really no need to say this, but the refereeing by Jorge Larrionda was flat out shitty. The Mastroeni red card was the call of a coward, afraid he had given too much of an advantage to the underdogs. The second Pope yellow was justified but the first wasn't. Nesta did bring the ball down with his hand in the box quite clearly. The Beasley call is a difficult case... under the current interpretation of the offside rule the goal counts, under the former it's offside. Little wonder Wikipedia has semi-protected its entry on Larrionda; apparently someone was already calling him a wanker before the match even finished. (Apparently Larrionda is a parrot-breeder. I hope they go all Hitchcock on his ass when he gets home.)

This is one of our best results in a World Cup, and one we can build on. The permutations of group E scenarios are labyrinthine, but basically we have to win and preferably big. Later on, I'll try to speculate on how best we should do that.


I feel guilty that I can't say more about Ghana's splendid 2-0 win over the Czechs. I was having a few people over for the Italy game and spent most of the Czech game helping to prepare lunch. But I did see the two goals... egad, do Ghana look good. It will be a remarkably tough game with the US on Thursday.

US-Italy preview

Dear god... is it that day already? After the Czech performance, I'm anticipating this game with a creeping dread. Oh, they'll play better, do us proud, etc. But they'll lose by a goal anyway.

Check out Steve Long's preview at ASN; it has a very nice tactical analysis. I can't add anything more, except GO USA!!!!

Friday, June 16, 2006

Match Day Eight review

Last night, I looked at the World Cup schedule that is affixed to my filing cabinet with a magnet and I saw the morning match was Argentina vs Serbia-Montenegro. It did not exactly set my pulse a-racin'. You see, I really dislike Argentina, and have done ever since I was a young boy in England and Diego Maradona destroyed my childhood innocence by scoring the Hand of God goal and proving to me that cheaters sometime prosper. (And yet, and yet... that second goal was unarguably gorgeous. My second lesson that day was beauty and evil go hand-in-hand.) And Serbia... well Serbia is totally unexciting. Their front two consists of Mateja Kezman, who just sucks, and Savo Milosevic, who looks not unlike an artist's rendition of a Pithecanthropus.

So when I got up this morning, I distinctly dawdled. I brewed some coffee, checked e-mail and realized that if it came down to a choice between doing some work or watching Argentina-Serbia... well, there really was no choice. I turned on the TV. It was about the 25th minute, and Argentina, predictably were already a goal up. And within five minutes, I saw one of the most incredible goals I have ever seen.

Normally, wonder goals tend to fall into two categories: the blast from 30 yards or more, a la Tomas Rosicky, or the mazy run that beats multiple defenders, a la the aforementioned second Maradona goal against England in 1986. This one was different. Here's the totally apt description of the Guardian's Barry Glendenning in his live minute-by-minute report:

Sweet mother of Jesus, how the fuck am I supposed to describe that? The goal of the tournament so far by Cambiasso, and quite possibly the greatest goal that's ever been scored.

The play started when an Argentine defender intercepted the ball about 35 yards away from his own goal. The ball was passed to another player. And again. And again. All the while the play was making progress down the left flank. Most of the passes were after one and two touches at speed. The Serbians never touched the ball. I watched the replay on ESPN Classic and I counted 24 consecutive passes--not along the backline mind you, but between the flank and the center in the Serb half. It culminated in Sorin passing to Cambiasso outside the box. Cambiasso passed to Crespo inside the box. He drew two defenders and blindly backheeled into the path of Cambiasso whose-time shot was perfectly placed beyond a stunned Jevric.

If you didn't see it, your homework is to download this goal and watch it. Seriously, do it. You won't regret it.

It almost seems incidental to say that Argentina mauled Serbia 6-0 to guarantee advancement. It could so totally have been more, they were that good. Some in the press are calling it one of the greatest team performances in World Cup history. I wouldn't go that far--it was against Serbia after all--but they looked simply awesome, even better than the Spanish. Wow.


I was sad to see the Ivory Coast lose 2-1 against Holland and thus get eliminated. They attacked and attacked after going two down, and although they got a goal back from Bakary Kone, the Dutch held on after some clever substitutions from Van Basten. The Ivorians deserved better; they were an exciting team and would have gotten results if only they had drawn another group. Hell, they'd be dominating Group B.


And what is there to say about the 0-0 draw between Mexico and Angola, aside from a barely surpressed chuckle? (I don't remotely feel bad about this; all Mexico will be laughing just as hard when Italy puts the US to the sword tomorrow.) Mexico attacked and attacked but were repelled through a combination of their own ineptitude (missing Borgetti really hurts) and some improvised defending on the part of the Angolans.

The Angolan goalkeeper Joao Ricardo is an interesting case. Here's a guy who is quite frankly the worst keeper in this Cup by far. His sense of positioning can be generously described as unconventional and every cross into the box is a new adventure. He doesn't even have a team. But he reminds me of Doctor Zhivago's description of Lara Antipova's nursing skills in his letters home (in the movie at least, I haven't read the book), when Zhivago says something about how Lara does the wrong thing all the time, but somehow it ends up being the right choice in the end. Whenever Joao Ricardo goes way off his line, he somehow gets a hand to the ball, even though he shouldn't. His deflections seem to work out. And so against Portugal and Mexico, two top ten teams, he's given up a single goal. And if Angola can get a win against Iran, and Portugal beats Mexico, the Africans are in the second round, where Ricardo's idiot savant goalkeeping will probably face Argentina from the get go. Oh dear.

Match day Sven review

Ah, that was totally unintentional, I promise! But having made that typo, I couldn't go back and correct it.

Would they have fired Sven mid-cup if Trinidad had kept it scoreless (or if John Terry hadn't made that desperate goalline clearance from Stern John)? Hard to say. But goals from Crouch and Gerrard made sure that England beat the Soca Warriors to go through to the second phase. Egad, were they ever dire for most of the game though. The putatively world class midfield of Gerrard, Beckham, Cole and Lampard seemed flummoxed by a organized defense, and it was only after Rooney and Lennon came in that they made any progress.

Rooney actually looked pretty good, especially considering how unfit he must be. There was one dangerous moment only a minute after entering where he seemed to get trodden on... you could feel a whole nation cringe.

So even though England have looked god-awful in their two games against not-so-great opponents, they are through to the knock-out phase, and will win the group with a draw or better against Sweden. Fortunately for England, Sweden have also been god-awful. Just when you thought they would be the new France and go the whole Cup without scoring, they finally popped one in against Paraguay. (By the way, the new France is... uh... France.) It was like the relief you feel when you finally pass a gallstone; you'd have been mistaken in thinking they had won the World Cup when Ljungberg finally scored.

You know, Trinidad has a not inconsiderable chance of getting out of this group. Consider: England will want to produce a more emphatic performance against a quality team to give them confidence going forward. Trinidad will be playing a beaten Paraguay. And they have nothing to lose; they've already achieved their goal of producing a respectable Cup performance and have made their country proud. My bet is that Benhaaker allows Yorke and The White Guy the freedom to get into more advance positions against Paraguay. With Glen starting alongside John from the start, and Edwards back in midfield... yeah, they could totally do it. Go Trinidad!


Wouldn't a Trinidad-Ecuador round of 16 match just be a little slice of heaven? I thought the Ticos would really attack Ecuador today, and although they did, they just weren't very good at it. Ecuador (do they have a nickname?) are doing the simple things very well: they're staying organized, making themselves available for passes and generating chances. And Edison Mendez has been excellent, involved in everything attacking play Ecuador has produced.

The Ivan Kaviedes Spider-Man mask celebration: 1/4 funny, 3/4 extremely oogy. I mean he pulled it out of his shorts....

Farewell Poland! Farewell Paraguay! Farewell Costa Rica, with your coach who looks just like Harry Dean Stanton!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Match Day Six review

So yes... Spain, muy bueno. I was particularly impressed by David Villa, who was a handful everytime he had the ball. The Spanish were continually making runs for each other and playing as a team. I know it's early days yet, but it made me momentarily feel smug about my prediction that the Spanish would win the whole thing. The match was definitely marred by the ridiculous penalty and sending off... the most ludicrous call I've seen so far in the finals. Apparently, the Ukranians intend to blame their poor play--and click on this link if you even think for a millisecond that I am making this up--on some loud frogs.


But even as they are stymied by Spain and amorous amphibians, Ukraine have got to feel good that the Islam Bowl ended in a 2-2 draw. I watched the first half of this only, and was little impressed by either side. I thought the Tunisians had a touch more class about them, but not really enough to get out of the group, as I had picked them to do. The draw favors the Saudis, who will get to play the demoralized Ukraine next and save their Spanish mauling for the end, when the Spanish might be comfortable enough to send out their B team (i.e. Raul up front.) Anyway, a shame I missed the second half because the ending was quite dramatic. Unfortunately, the draw helps neither team.

You know, the G1 vs H2 round of 16 game is going to be a real crapshoot. That's where you could get an unfancied team reaching the quarters.


The second set of games got underway with Germany's last gasp 1-0 victory over Poland. Reading the Guardian's minute-by-minute report, you'd have thought this one to be a stinker, but really it was very watchable, played at a breakneck tempo, even if the quality wasn't always there. To their credit, Poland really came out to play, and looked several times better than they did against Ecuador. The substitution of Odonkor for Friedrich seemed to be the key; it brought Schweinsteiger inside and provided acres of space for Odonkor to operate (later, Klinsmann replaced Schweinsteiger with central mid Borowski, and gave Odonkor even more space.) It was just a matter of time before he produced a moment of quality, although it came with seconds left.


Some news of note for tomorrow's games. It looks like Rooney really will play against T&T. This, for me, seems like a fundamentally bad idea, but who am I to question Sven-Goran Eriksson's sound footballing judgement? (For those not familiar with the England team over the last six years, that was sarcasm.)

Also, it looks like Olaf Mellberg and Freddie Ljungberg have been fighting again, which, you may recall, they did in 2002 as well. We can only dream that there is footage as hilarious as there was last time round, when Ljungberg wildly tackled Olaf, who promptly grabbed him by the throat. Good times.

The pain from Spain falls mainly on Ukraine

What's scary is that they never really reached top gear. Ouch.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

USA post-mortem

And rarely has the term "post-mortem" been more apropos, as the US coaching staff tries to bring themselves back from the dead in group E. The state of the US camp is best conveyed by Steve Goff in his report today in the Post, which you should definitely read if you haven't already done so. The money quote, re: DaMarcus Beasley:

"If he's any kind of player and man, he understands [that he did not perform well]," [Arena] said. "If he doesn't, he's not going to be able to help us in Games 2 or 3, either." (Emphasis mine)

Youch.

So what changes will Arena bring in? Reading between the lines, I don't think he will mess with the back four. Arena said that "[d]efensively we actually played quite well," and I'm not sure you really get any value in replacing Pope or Lewis with someone else. The only change I could possibly see here would be Chris Albright, but I think Arena will resist it for the time being.

It's hard not to get a sense from the interview that Beasley will be benched for Italy. My guess is that Convey will remain in the left of midfield. On the right, I think it's time to unleash Clint Dempsey upon an unsuspecting world. He's totally untested at this level, but he has the strength and energy the US will need in this match.

My second guess is that Johnson will start alongside McBride, with Mastroeni being benched and Reyna as the sole defensive midfielder. I'm not sure what I think of such a switch, because we play better with someone suporting Reyna in the center. But we need goals, and in getting them, we'll have to take a chance in the back. If this happens, Reyna will need to play destroyer as much as provider.

We'll see if we get more hints as the week progresses.

Match Day Five Review

The least compelling day so far, I'd say; there was some good flowing soccer at points, but there was a lot of choppiness and imprecision.


The big winner of the day was certainly South Korea, who not only got the must-win victory over Togo, but also exactly the result they wanted from the France-Switzerland match. For all their supposed chaos, the Togolese looked very spirited and organized, at least until the second half, when they had a problem coping with the Koreans' speed on the ball. Obviously the red card and subsequent goal was the turning point, after which it was only a matter of time before the Koreans used their space to take the advantage. It was kind of cool that Ahn Jung-hwan, the floppy haired striker who did so well in 2002, scored the winner from a very nice strike.


In a result that anyone living under a rock for the last five years might have called an upset, France drew Switzerland 0-0. Raymond Domenech decided to play Franck Ribéry, but he did so on the left of a 4-5-1 system that really ill-suits France. First off, Thierry Henry is not the best solo striker in this kind of set up (although admittedly he pulled it off a few times for Arsenal this year), since he likes to pull wide to the left and dribble at defenders at pace. I'm really not sure that Zidane is the ideal attacking midfielder for this formation either. Eventually Domenech brought on Saha, but it made little difference.

Frankly, I think Domenech is going to have to make a hard decision and drop either Zidane, Vieira or Makelele. Zidane simply is not playing well, but my guess is that he's basically untouchable. I'd therefore take out either Makelele or Vieira, who basically just get in each others' way anyway, and play either Saha or Trezeguet alongside Henry. I think maybe bringing someone a bit better than Wiltord on the right might help... perhaps Dhorasoo?

Honestly, I think Korea are going to fancy their chances against this French team on the 18th.


And then, the long awaited Brazil-debut. There were flashes of the kind of skill that make them the fantasy figures of so many hardcore soccer-geeks, but overall, they were not all that, and will look to improve against group leaders (?!) Australia this weekend. The Crouton defense kept them at bay fairly easily for much of the match, aided by the fact that Ronaldo was essentially immobile and that a frustated Adriano kept checking back to midfield to get a touch of the ball. They need a moment of individual brilliance, and fortunately they got it from Kaka, who, goal notwithstanding, was Brazil's most influential player. To their credit, Croatia played them tough and generated some chances, but as time went on, you could see they were simply too knackered to pull off the comeback.

UPDATE: Re: France, the writer of this AP article pulls no punches in the headline. Most amusing.

Monday, June 12, 2006

A more profound Match day 4 review

After the US game I went and had a nice multi-hour sulk. Consequently, I missed the Italian victory over Ghana. As revenge for this transgression, the demigod who looks out for Italian interests made sure that the pasta I ate gave me a righteous stomach ache in the evening. A more prosaic explanation is that it was not a good idea to eat so soon after my stomach was in knots.



First off, credit to Australia for their last minute victory over Japan. It was a cracking game, played at a nice tempo and it really could have gone either way. I disagree with fourth-string commentators Davis and Messing about the "obvious" foul on Schwarzer for the Japan goal; it seemed like Schwarzer made a right mess of it, advancing when he shouldn't have and running into the Japanese attacker. In any case, the Australians were absolutely gutsy when it counted most, especially Tim Cahill, who was half-crocked. I really don't think they will get out of this group, but they will go down fighting.



So were the Czechs that good or the US that bad? The truth is always somewhere in between; I would put it at 25% the former 75 % the latter. Certainly, the US were the worst team I've seen play so far. The Koller goal was a breakdown on every portion of the pitch. I don't think Onyewu was really to blame for the brilliance of Rosicky on the second. But throughout the match, Mastroeni and Reyna were overrun by Koller and Rosicky.

Offensively, we looked half-hearted and hesitant. Everyone was useless and there was a general lack of creativity. The Czech defense were rarely bothered by the one-on-one talents of Donovan, Beasley or Convey.

Simply put, we played terribly and were therefore dominated. Easily the worst performance since the Iran game in 1998, and perhaps worse than that, since in that match we could somewhat legitimately claimed bad luck. Reyna's shot could have gone in, but it would have been a patently undeserved equalizer, and one suspects it wouldn't have changed the end result.

Arena publicly ripped into his players after the game, which I'm never a big fan of coaches doing, but I can't help but agree with him this time. (A curiously scrubbed post-match chat sheet is on the USSF website.) Steve Goff catches Beasley ripping back. So much for our pre-Cup amity.

I'm guessing Arena will ring in a few changes for the Italy game, but I'll save the speculation for a new post tomorrow.

US vs Czech Republic review

Utter crap.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

US vs Czechs preview

Here's the ASN preview, courtesy of yours truly. For a fine discussion of the czech options, see this forum on SAGexile, the thinking fan's alternative to Big Soccer.

My stomach is in knots, so I'm going to try and get some sleep now.

Match Day Three review

Are they even calling them "Match Days?" I think I stole that from the Champions League.

Never mind, I'd rather do this than write about each match individually (I'll do that in the knockout stage.) Especially since I don't really have much to say about Postcolonial Bowl I. Portugal looked pretty bad after the first ten minutes or so, but Angola didn't have the class to hurt them, or the ambition to try something radical like play two strikers. It was pretty tame, the worst game so far. And to think their last match had four people sent off. Never mind, perhaps Togo will kick France in le nuts collectif.



The ESPN commentators were bandying around a rumor that the rest of the Dutch squad was displeased with Arjen Robben's ball-hogging during their 1-0 victory over Serbia-and-until-very-recently-Montenegro. I suspect that this might have just been Ruud van Nistelroy being bitchy, because very clearly the strategy was to look for Robben at every opportunity and have him unsettle the S&M (yes, ha-ha) defense. Snieder and Cocu would hold the ball just enough to draw pressure, so that they could play Robben through in space. It was one-dimensional, but when you're one dimension is an in-form Robben, who needs more?

But will that strategy work against better opposition than the Serbs? I think against Argentina they might want to have other options in the attack as well. One thing I would do is shift Van Persie slightly so that he plays behind Van Nistelrooy, rather than to his right. VP had a great combo with Robben on the goal, but generally they were too far apart on the field.



So much for my prediction that Iran would beat Mexico. But up until the 75th minute it was looking pretty good. Iran was, I felt, the more dangerous team for much of the first half, and when La Volpe burned through all his subs by minute 50, I really thought Iran would take them.

But around about the 55th minute, something weird happened. Iran held back from their pressuring and started to lay off the Mexicans and let them play. When Iran did get possession, they did not commit numbers forward. By the 70th minute I was thoroughly perplexed. Here was a game that they really had the ability to get a result in. Were they tired out?

I don't think so. I think they were just told to play for the draw. Which was the worse thing they could have done, because it gave the initiative back to a Mexico team who really were a bit rattled. With the time to settle down, they applied some pressure and waited for the Iranian defense to blunder. They didn't have to go gung-ho in the attack, but they needed to keep possession by making themselves available for the ball, and to disrupt the Mexicans by defending high up the field. When both those things stopped, the team caved. It was either exhaustion or a shocking bit of coaching by Branko Ivankovic.

UPDATE: In comments, donjuego thinks I don't give enough credit to Lavolpe's second-half tactics, and is absolutely right when he says that Lavolpe's switch to counterpunching proved to be critical. My point was that to have success against a counterpunching team, you can do one of two things: you can either A) punch more strongly or B) lay off altogether and pack the defense. The Iranians did the absolutely wrong thing, which was to try something halfway between the two. As a result, when they were in possession, they didn't commit enough numbers forward, when the Mexicans were giving them space. Consequently they gave up the ball easily, and those who did commit upfield didn't bother pressuring. In any case, Zinho did a nice job of dissecting the Iranian defense and might have done so even if they were more disciplined.

Useless + 10

Let's talk commercials for a moment while I wait for Mexico-Iran to start. You've undoubtedly seen the Adidas + 10 ads where the two kids play a pick-up match with a bunch of stars. In one version, Jose selects Beckenbauer, and lo! a digitized version of Der Kaiser appears. In the other version, the other kid picks Michel Platini and the same thing happens.

Anyway, in the second version the other kid distinctly picks... Jermain Defoe. At first I thought I misheard, but when I saw it a second time, yeah it was definitely Jermain Defoe.

WTF? If you had the entire history of football from which to pick your squad, would you pick Jermain Defoe in your first 11? In your first 111? I'm so betting on Jose.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Match Day Two review

It looked like it was going to be so easy in the first five minutes of England's 1-0 victory over Paraguay. They had been scoring those kind of free kick goals over and over in last two friendlies, and the Paraguayans looked simply shellshocked. In a way, I think losing their goalkeeper to injury actually helped, because the long break allowed them to get their heads together.

When they resumed play, it was a different match. Paraguay was applying high pressure to the English when they were in possession and disrupted the play nicely, causing many--too many--turnovers. The problem is that there was really not much they could do when they got the ball. Roque Santa Cruz was simply unfit. Nelson Valdez was energetic, but not really classy. Parades dove a lot.

By the middle of the second half, the English were too beat to do anything but defend. They needed to get the ball on the ground and dribble at the Paraguayans to get some free kicks, but their constant giveaways and a recalcitrant referee really stymied that possibility. The English press are going to get hot and bothered by this result, but frankly, a win is a win, and a win with no major injuries or red cards is even better. It could have been a lot worse.

Which brings us to Sweden. There are certain games between putatively mismatched teams where you're sure the so-called "better" team is not going to find a way to score, and there are games between mismatched teams where you just know the weaker team is going to cave. I really thought that this match was going to be one of the latter, up until injury time. That it wasn't was down in large part to Shaka Hislop, who really put in the game of his life. And did you ever think Dwight Yorke could be such an effective defender?

Personally, I put it all down to Christian Wilhelmsson's unpleasantly 80s hair. Rarely have the mullet and the rattail been combined to such nauseating effect.

Intriguingly, this makes the last match of the group stage meaningful for both teams. Trinidad will feel they stand a chance against Paraguay, and Sweden may be in a must-win situation against England, especially if they draw the Paraguay match, which could well happen.

I only saw the last 60 minutes of Argentina-Ivory Coast, but it was clear that Riquelme was the player of the game. Everything went through him, and the Ivorians simply had no answer in the midfield. It was tempting fate for Pekerman to being off Crespo and Saviola so soon, but after a rocky ten mintues where they gave up that Drogba goal, they were back in control.

Soccer smarts

As someone who's recently acquired a graduate degree, I couldn't help but be interested in Slate's article on how soccer is the new game for young American male intellectuals. Best sentence:

There's also a frisson of underworld glamour in soccer writing.

And oh, I'm feelin' it.

Match Day One review

Normally, of course, opening day matches are low-scoring games. But they're often funny results, with Senegal beating France last time and (best of all) cameroon dispatching Argentina in 1990. Yesterday's match was neither low-scoring nor an upset.

Watching that first Lahm goal provided me one those thrills that only international soccer can provide. Four minutes in, so much tension, and the left back--the left back!--provides a total golazo. Whatever you think of the German team, Klinsmann's reaction was wonderful.

So are the Germans that good or the Ticos that bad? The ESPN team kept hammering on about Germany's new offensive strategy, but the problem isn't that they were playing too little defense, it's that the defense they were playing was executed poorly. Both times (yes, Marcelo Balboa, both times) Friedrich was a step off on the outside trap.

Mind you Costa Rica also had two defensive howlers, both on the Klose goals. Take away all the defensive blunders and it would have been 2-0 Germany on two monumental goals.

Ronald Gomez looked pretty useless. I really think they should have brought Winston Parks.

As for Poland-Ecuador... a friend of mine is Polish and in 2002 I had a great deal of fun mocking her team's ineptitude (until they beat the USA, at which point I had a fair amount of crow to eat.) Looks like 2006 will bring more of the same from Poland. Ecuador had a classic counterpunching game plan and executed it perfectly.

England-Paraguay in a few minutes, so I'm going to wrap this up. More later today,

Thursday, June 08, 2006

The night before

What can I say? It all starts tomorrow and I am thoroughly excited.

The big news for the hosts is that Michael Ballack has been ruled out of the opener with the Ticos due to a calf injury. (I'd hyperlink it, but the appropriate buttons seem to be unavailable to me for the time being.) I think this makes doodle-squat worth of difference, and the hosts will win more or less comfortably. Poland vs Ecuador tomorrow is a fascinating match-up; both teams will feel they can and must win this match. I think it's going to be a jittery error-filled encounter and a probably a draw.

So while we're at it, here are my quite ill-informed pre-tournament predictions:

Group A: Germany and Poland. Too many factors are going against Ecuadro and Costa Rica, and I think Poland will make it through this group.

Group B: England and Sweden. It won't be a formality before the final game; I think Paraguay can pick up a point off Sweden. But the Swedes always do well against the English, and I think another draw will carry them through.

Group C: Holland and Argentina. S & formerly M are all defense and no bite. Ivory Coast will battle valiantly to no avail.

Group D: Portugal and Iran. You read it here first: Iran stuffs Mexico in their opener, Their squad is experienced, comfortable playing in Europe and well coached. A subsequent win against Angola pulls Iran through to the last 16, leaving us with the prospect of a European visit from Ahmadinejad.

Group E: USA and Czech Republic. And really what were you expecting? Italy gets held by Ghana in the first game and beaten by US and Czechs. Yeah, you know you want it,

Group F: Brazil and Croatia, Three Brazil wins and a buttload of draws. Croatia on goals scored.

Group G: South Korea and France. The conventional wisdom on this Korea squad is that they don't travel well, but I don't see how this group can hurt them. The French class of 1998 will scrape through this, but will be eliminated in the 16.

Group H: Spain and Tunisia, The Tunisians will be your African team of the year. They can beat the Ukraine, and they'll have a nice draw in the round of 16 (perhaps a tasty postcolonial encounter with the French!) The Spanish coast.

And the final will be...

Spain beats Holland. I liked the Dutch a lot formerly, but I think their injury issues will hurt their long-term cohesion. Everyone is going to assume that Spain will bottle it this year as they always do. But they have a world-class side, have had promising results and a virtual coast through to the quarterfinals. I say they win it and beat Brazil along the way.

I'll be trying to post brief match reports for every match I catch, which will be... well, all of them. So good night, and enjoy tomorrow's games!

Deutsche Amerikanische Freundschaft

I just saw the FSC coverage of the US making friends in Hamburg, attending a city ceremony in their honor and giving a shirt to the mayor. Good for them. (They did better than Australia, who apparently dissed a similar event at Oehringen.) These players and coaches are ambassadors of our country and it's good to see them being gracious guests.

It'll be interesting to see how the German neutrals in the crowd (who will be the majority in every match) will support the Americans. In Korea, another country with a large US military presence, they were loathed. On one hand, the US are underdogs and Germans know many of the US players, on the other hand... well... George W. Bush. So we'll see.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Please don't foul me

The anointed star of this World Cup, if you haven't noticed, is clearly Ronaldinho. His toothy mug is all over the media, including the New York Times Cup special last Sunday. Earlier today, he made a plea for strict refereeing when the tournament starts, because he fears that he and his Brazilian chums will be the target of repeated fouling.

He didn't say it, but my guess is that Ronaldinho is really worried about Australia. Last weekend, they hacked their way to a 1-1 draw with the Netherlands in a "friendly" match that left three Dutch players injured. Clearly, Guus Hiddink's plan for Brazil is to disrupt them as much as possible, and weather the free kick storm that will ensue. It sure won't be jogo bonito, but that sort of strategy sometimes works.

Rooney and Cisse

Ack, it's been a frustrating day here at the Conspiracy. Blogger was down during the day, and then a storm sent down my DSL, which made it difficult to follow the two important stories of the day:

First off, today was the day of Wayne Rooney's metatarsal scan in Manchester. The official results will be announced tomorrow, but Rooney, who left the hospital with an obvious smile on his face, took a plane to Germany in the evening to rejoin the English squad at Baden Baden, a pretty clear sign that he's been given the go-ahead to play in the World Cup. Indicators are that he'll be ready for the knockout stage, but apparently Erikson is toying with the idea of giving him some playing time against Sweden.

What makes this saga so fascinating is the undisguised animosity between the FA and Rooney's club Manchester United. Apparently there was two hours of disagreement between England and Man U doctors over interpreting the scan and what precisely it means. And according to the article I linked above, Alex Ferguson is consideringlegal action against the FA if Rooney gets injured again. In other words, this saga is about more than Rooney's chances of playing in the Cup; it is a new front in the ongoing club vs. country war.

The other news is bad for France. Djibril Cisse broke his leg in a 3-1 victory over China today and is out of the Cup. It's a terrible blow for Cisse right on the verge of the World Cup. But it's also a blow for France who were probably going to start him alongside Thierry Henry. That role will probably fall to David Trezeguet, whom I've always felt was a bit pants, but who has apparently scored truckloads of goals when I haven't been watching.

No word yet on who Cisse's replacement will be. France have about 27 hours to decide, before the squads are locked. They already have a bunch of strikers on the squad, so it could be a midfielder... Ludovic Giuly perhaps?

UPDATE: No, it's Sidney Govou, who subbed in at Euro 04 as well.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Double super secret background

Meanwhile, over in the American camp, weird things are happening. Not merely content with having a closed-door warm-up match against Angola, Bruce Arena demanded this his team wear plain shirts to obsucre the players' identities and asked that his players not talk too much about what happened.

According to reports, the US won 1-0 courtesy of a Brian McBride headed goal. Here's what else we know.

Reyna played, and was apparently influential.

Angola had a player sent off at the end of the first half.

Tim Howard played in goal in the second half

Eddie Lewis played a little at left back and left mid.

After the game, Arena denied he was getting all secret agent-y:

"Angola was just practice," he said after a training session opened to the public. "Why should it be open? We don't have the public facilities for people to be there. We're playing with 15 players.

"It's a pretty simple game. There will be no secrets in the tournament. We all know each other."

Clearly though, Arena is keen to ensure that group E spies don't check them out too closely beforehand. This could be just some mind games. I do wonder, however, if the detail that Lewis played in midfield is a sign that we experimented with a 3-5-2, which would, frankly, be something of a surprise.

Meanwhile, Arena's caginess about lineups and tactics also applies internally. As Steve Goff reports, DaMarcus Beasley is getting a little frustrated about not knowing whether or not he'll be starting against the Czechs:

"It's a little irritating not to know, but I think Bruce is going to have some decisions to make."

It's hardly a 1998 style player revolt, but it is the first sign of any discontent I've seen so far in the US camp.

England vs. D'Yer Maker

Took the opportunity of the last free weekend before the World Cup to do some housecleaning, but I did manage to catch England's 6-0 demolition of Jamaica on Saturday.

Obviously, one would do well to remember the quality of the opponents (The US dusted Jamaica 5-0 at almost the exact time before the Cup four years ago.*), but England was confident and comfortable. Beckham looked in good form once again and Gerrard played well in central midfield with Lampard. And Peter Crouch looks, well, great. (Aside from the missed penalty.) Quality of the defense notwithstanding, he was accurate on his shooting and passing and positioned himself fantastically, making runs at the right time. Maybe he will be the English hero for this World Cup.

Meanwhile, Wayne Rooney--remember him? He was two English heroes ago-- is back in training with the team, and was spotted executing a scissors kick, by photographers from The Sun. English fans are now officially excited.


* Check out the Sams Army team rating of the Jamaica game I linked to. Now remember today's date. I swear I didn't do that on purpose... maybe Satan is coming after all.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Friday is for friendlies

Two big ones today.

Germany beat Colombia 3-0 in what was apparently a lively and confident performance. Just as the win over America in March erased the hangover of a previous loss to Italy, so will this ameliorate that tie with Japan earlier in the week. With as much of a battering as this team has gone through in the home press, this was an important result to achieve in order to get some stability for that Costa Rica game in a week's time.

And Italy were held 0-0 by Ukraine. It stretches their unbeaten run to five matches, says the wire report jauntily, but surely this is another disappointing result for the Italians, who looked so good until fairly recently.

Man, I would so totally take 0-0 against the Italians on the 17th. But maybe I'm being too pessimistic.

Insert "scoring" pun here

This story is odd. Paraguay midfielder Clarence Acuna apparently tried to secure a--ahem--date with a Swedish photographer by having his translator call her in the middle of the night. (His translator! That reminds me of the episode in the first Blackadder series where a Spanish princess communicates with a translator during an amorous tryst with Baldrick.) Apparently, she reported him, and now he faces a ban from FIFA.

Taking the story at face value and assuming Acuna did nothing abusive or illegal, why precisely does FIFA have the authority to ban him? Put quite bluntly, it's hardly any of their business what the players get up to at night, provided it's not illegal. Acuna's coaching staff should decide what penalties, if any, he should incur.

More articles

Jere Longman has an optimistic assessment of the Czech team this morning, suggesting that they are too old, too injured, and too defensively brittle. I confess that I've thought all those things over the past year, but I also fear that I could be dead wrong. The combination of Nedved and Rosicky will be the toughest part to handle.

Meanwhile, as John Nicholson reminds us, everyone's World Cup prep has sucked in some way.

England

The New York Times generally has abysmal soccer coverage, but a couple of days back they ran a nice summary article of the England team, which you should check out. (I found this courtesy of their rivals at USA Today, whose SoccerSweep blog you should also check out.)

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Ewwww...

Courtesy of those free-lovin' hippies at the California base of Soccer America comes this report that Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn threatened to sue a German sex shop for marketing vibrators with their names on them. Kudos to the crack SA editorial staff for not omitting the crucial details about the size of the offending objects.

What strikes me as bizarre about this story is this: why would anyone think that the endorsement of Oliver Kahn would encourage people to buy a sex toy? I mean, seriously, Kahn has to be one of the least sexiest humans ever. Just look at the guy:












Aroused yet? Thought not. If you passed legislation requiring his picture to be displayed in every bedroom in the world, the human race would die out in a generation.

UPDATE: But at least one attractive young woman disagrees with me:











Perhaps it's his stylish striped shirts.

Beer and madelines, more like

The aforementioned Angus MacKinnon is now officially my favorite wire agency soccer writer. Not only does the title of his article on Joe Cole project upon the diminutive Chelsea and England midfielder moments of Proustian anamnesis, he also describes Cole's improved defensive skills to a "Damascene conversion." Maybe I could get MacKinnon to guest blog for the Conspiracy.

Panic on the streets of...

... Munich and Milan, as Germany and Italy can only garner draws against putatively inferior opponents: 2-2 with Japan and 1-1 with Switzerland respectively.

Japan were two up with a quarter hour left against the Germans, who managed to scrounge two
late goals. The result has rekindled the fires of criticism that have been buring Jurgen Klinsmann's feet for months now.

The Italian situation is difficult to diagnose. There are rumors that the match fixing scandal are affecting morale in the Italian camp, but it's worth remembering that Italy always looks listless and unimpressive at the start of major tournaments. Sometimes, they continue to look so once the tournaments are under way, but quite often they don't. And sometimes they whine when results don't go their way, and so it was against the Swiss, whose tackling was too rough for the sensitive flowers of the Azzurri

England-Hungary

The British press seemed to think it was all a bit miserable, but I was impressed with England's 3-1 victory over Hungary. (Note on the link: how did a man named Angus MacKinnon get to cover England games?) After a boring first thirty minutes, the English controlled the entire game. Owen is still not in form, but this is only the third real match he's played snice coming back from injury.

The match was a reminder of why David Beckham is so important to this team. It may be difficult for those outside of the UK to believe, but quite a lot of fans have called for Beckham to be replaced over the last cycle. Not only did he set up the two goals, but his dangerous crossing and set pieces generated all of England's quality chances, with the exception of the Crouch goal, which came from Joe Cole on the left. Beckham won't beat anyone on the dribble a la Aaron Lennon, but when he's on his game he can shatter opposing defenses.

The Peter Crouch goal was very impressive, and I wonder if we're going to see Sven try pairing him with Owen from the start against Jamaica. And while the purists may scoff, I enjoyed his Kraftwerkian goal celebration. With their proud history of skepticism towards stuffy British institutions, it's no surprise that the Guardian liked it too.

P.S. I share a birthday with Steven Gerrard! Thank god it's not with Jermaine Jenas.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Fickle French Fans

Despite having booed their team during their winning send-off match in the Stade de France, apparently over half of French fans think their team will reach the semis. Confusing.

However, there is a factor that I didn't mention during my last French post, which is that one boo-ee, Fabien Barthez, plays for Marseille, hated enemy of local team Paris Saint-Germain. Still, if you're going to let your club preferences influence you so much, then why would you bother going to a national team match in the first place. And Dhorasoo plays for PSG, so maybe there's something else going on here.

Another interesting wire article provides some context for French failure at World Cup 2002. Their story seems remarkably similar to the US story in 1998.

More friendlies today, including England-Hungary, which is on TV in the US on FSC. So far, the Czechs have beaten Costa Rica 1-0, and Poland has unimpressively lost at home 1-2 to Colombia, who aren't even participating in the Cup. Group A is looking more and more cupcake-y with every passing day.

Sweet cruelty

No matter who you support, it's always a terrible thing when someone can't go to the World Cup because of injury.

Wait, did I just say "always?" My bad. I meant "mostly." Because there are those rare occasions when someone picks up a heartbreaking injury that prevents Cup participation and it's just thoroughly awesome.

Handball, my ass. Or rather, Gregg Berhalter's chest.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Weekend results

My internet at home has been going a bit wonky, so I haven't been posting quite as much as I would have hoped on the subject of the weekend friendlies, a couple of which I was able to watch:

France 1-0 Mexico. This was really the marquee match of the weekend. It was a tense, coiled affair, the sort of match that seems like it was always on the brink of bursting into life, only to settle down when the players remembered this was a warm-up and they shouldn't get injured. Florent Malouda scored a nice winner before halftime, although I was perplexed by his auto-erotic nipple-stimulation goal celebration.

What amazed me about the match was how utterly useless Zinedine Zidane was. Everyone has a bad game from time to time, but Zizou, who earned his 100th cap, was awful. Every pass he made was misdirected (Seriously. Every pass. I stopped keeping track after five in a row.) It's almost as if he thought right before the game "Wouldn't it be funny if I played like a total yutz in my last game in the Stade de France." It was so unbelieveable that it must be an aberration; his World Cup has got to be better than that.

Somewhat classlessly and perplexingly, the French crowd booed their own players, even while they were winning. Amongst the victims were coach Raymond Domenech, midfielder Vikash Dhorasoo, and keeper Fabien Barthez (okay, in his case I can kind of understand.) Understandably, the players are pissed off. Win notwithstanding, it hasn't been a good week for the French team.

Portugal 4-1 Cape Verde Islands. Through geographic proximity to a sizable Portuguese community, I get RTPI, and therefore get to see most Portuguese national team games. Not too much to tell here; Portugal understandably dominated, although they still look vulnerable on defense sometimes, even with a wholly revamped backline from the one Brian McBride laughed at in 2002. That said, it's worth mentioning how much better this team is than the 2002 version. They have Deco, they have Cristiano Ronaldo, they have Maniche... this team is not going out in the first round, and indeed they could go very far.

Matches I didn't see:

Ukraine 4-0 Costa Rica. I knew the Ticos don't travel well, but damn.... If a Shevchenko-less Ukraine smacks you like this, you're doing something pretty wrong. Bet they wish they hadn't fired Steve Sampson now!

Ghana 4-1 Jamaica
. The tone of the wire articles on this one suggest this was a sign of the danger of the Ghanian team. Perhaps, but I think it's also a sign of an off-season Jamaican team on vacation. (Just like they were in Cary, North Carolina, right? Touche.)

Germany 7-0 Luxembourg. So the Luxemburgers didn't win after all. Poopie. Defender Robert Huth twisted an ankle in this one, by the way.

Croatia 2-2 Iran. And Croatia only got the draw on a last-minute penalty. Iran will pose problems this year.

US-Latvia

... match report is here, penned by yours truly.

All in all, as comfortable a victory as 1-0 is ever going to get. It was fascinating to see both teams collectively run out of gas at about minute 70 and watch the match come to a grinding halt, but that's just fine with me; an 89th minute injury to McBride or somebody would have been too much to bear. Really, the dynamic of these games is excrutiating. You want your team to play hard, but every tackle makes you wince, much more so than opposing shots on goal.

Steve Goff at the Post presents a set of unresolved questions from these three matches:

· Has the oft-injured John O'Brien, who absorbed several hard challenges without incident Sunday, displayed enough endurance to regain the prominent role he held four years ago? And if so, where would he play?

· Is Landon Donovan more effective as a scheming midfielder or a withdrawn forward?

· Has the enigmatic Eddie Johnson earned Arena's trust to start alongside McBride on the front line?

· And what to do with team captain Claudio Reyna, currently sidelined with a hamstring injury?

Here are my guesses based on these three matches.

1) I think JOB will be primarily used as a sub. You want to have Mastroeni in the center of the field and you need to have Reyna. That leaves little room for JOB, assuming the other two are fit. If Mastroeni or Reyna have knocks, JOB plays.

2) I think he's more effective in the midfield, but I think it will be determined based on who the fifth attacking player in the lineup would be. If it's Convey or Dempsey, he's up front. If it's Johnson, he's in midfield.

3) I really don't know. I think McBride and Johnson, with Donovan behind, gives opposing defenses a lot more to think about than any other configuration. But is Johnson in enough form? Personally, I would take the gamble.

4) If he's fit he plays.

UPDATE: In his match report, Grahame Jones eschews optimism and instead traffics in his trademark crabbiness.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Much better

... play from the US, as they beat Venezuela 2-0 on Friday night. It was hardly perfect--there were a few clear chances squandered and a couple of bumpy patches. But overall it was never uncomfortable; you never got the impression that the Venezuelans were ever going to win this game. And the increased energy from all participants was heartening.

Bobby Convey was clearly one of the stars on Friday. I wonder how close he is getting to taking DaMarcus Beasley's starting position in the attacking midfield. Convey was beating players on the dribble, crossing well, and generally being unpredictable, while Beasley's eprformances for the national team have been fairly anemic. The Beas will probably get his chance tongiht against Latvia, but if it doesn't work for him, it's possible that Convey could be starting against the czechs on June 12th.

The thing I thought was the worst aspect of the AMericans performance was their center midfield. Olsen did not impose himself as much as he should have, either as a ballwinner or a holding midfielder. And Josh Wolff as an attacking midfielder is a work in progress.

Tonight, Arena's starting options are limited, since he'll want to rely on those who played on Friday as little as possible. Also, Berhalter won't play, since he isn't yet match fit. I'd expect Lewis, Cherundulo, Pope and either Conrad or Bocanegra in the back, O'Brien, Beasley, Donovan and Mastroeni in the midfield, and McBride and Johnson up front. I'd expect Wolff and Onyewu, who started both the previous matches, to be rested, but the others will sub in as needed.

Friday, May 26, 2006

US-Venezuela tonight

Thank god this match isn't in the World Cup itself, or it'd be the excuse for rampant Hugo Chavez chest beating.

Following their poor performance against Morocco, the US should really be up for this. I'm guessing you'll see a totally different backline tonight: perhaps Lewis, Bocanegra, Conrad and Albright. Ben Olsen, and Clint Dempsey should also see some time. I wouldn't be shocked to see Jphn O'Brien, who so badly needs match sharpness, in another 45-60 minute outing. Perhaps Brian Ching and Eddie Johnson will be given a chance in the front line.

The big news from the US camp this week is that Cory Gibbs is out of the squad with a knee injury; apparently, his right knee just started swelling up after the Morocco match, and it will take potentially weeks to settle. It's terrible news for Gibbs, whose Feyenoord career was essentially scuppered by a similar injury last year. He's unsurprisingly replaced by Gregg Berhalter, who brings a very similar skill set to Gibbs: he's a left-footed central defender who will play left back if you need him to. Berhalter has been in form for Energie Cottbus, who just got promoted to the Bundesliga, and he should be very comfortable in Germany.

The main thing the US loses here is Gibbs's speed; Berhalter isn't nearly as quick. I think this also makes it increasingly likely that Pope is the first-choice partner for Onyewu in Germany.

B is for bad

Or perhaps "bizarre". Both adjectives could equally be applied to England B's 2-1 loss to Belarus yesterday.

It was an odd little match. On the play that led to Jermaine Jenas's goal for England, Michael Owen was a mile offside, but it went unnoticed. There was as blatant a handball as you'll ever see that when uncalled. but weirder still was the first Belarus goal. England keeper Robert Green badly shanked the ball straight to an opposing player, falling to the ground in agony as he did so, whereupon the Belarussian striker calmly (and perhaps unsportingly) shot the ball into an empty net. Green, who was only the third choice England keeper, is now out of the World Cup.

Overall. England looked like they were sleeping through this game. Tons of misplaced passes, and a general sense of torpor about the England midfield and backline. Carrick and Jenas alwys seemed to me to be a bit far away from their strikers; Owen and Crouch were constantly tracking back.

The two bright spots were Crouch, who generally looked dangerous, and Aaron Lennon, who tormented the visitor's defense all night long. Eventually, the defender marking Lennon clearly just gave up and started wantonly fouling him, a strategy that hilariously brought him two yellow cards in a matter of seconds. And Theo Walcott did have some time at the end of the match; he had one nice volley and a few good moments, but really Lennon was the star. The problem is that Lennon plays in David Beckham's position, so there's virtually no chance he will start. I'd look for him to be inserted in games at around the 70 minute mark; against tired defenders, he could be truly monumental.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

French bizarreness

It's been a weird week for the French squad. Some of the weirdness was unintentional, but some has been self-inflicted.

Earlier this week, Patrick Vieira was gassed by burglars who were robbing his house in the Cote d'Azur. Apparently, the thieves managed to pump gas into the house to keep the Vieira family sleeping while they took valuables. Best wishes to Vieira and his wife and daughter as they recover from the attack.

And today, the French squad hiked on an Alpine glacier as a team-bonding exercise. Apparently, coach Raymond Domenech thought the difficult hike, in which players were roped together, would be a good way to generate team spirit, but it seems to me like a good way to get your entire squad wiped out by an avalanche. Fortunately, nothing like that happened, but surprise!--one of the players picked up a calf injury in the hike. The good news for France is that it was just Fabien Barthez who got hurt; maybe they'll be forced to actually start a real keeper against Switzerland.

UPDATE: More nuttiness! Backup keeper Gregory Coupet just stormed out of camp briefly. Reason unknown... you'd think he'd be happy Barthez hurt his calf. Hmm... you think maybe Coupet tried to push him off the glacier or something? Awesome!

Reyna's hamstring injury...

... is not serious, according to Chris Cowles of Reuters. Great news... but it's looking like he'll miss the last two friendlies.

Rode by Morocco

Hmmm. Well, once again that was a pretty poor performance by the United States. Match report here.

Arena's postgame tip of the hat to their opponents was deserved. They did an excellent job of breaking up attacks through the center and they played very quickly when they had to. This being said, we never got to them down the flanks enough, which is odd since we came out in that trendy 4-5-1 formation designed to hurt teams down the flanks and isolate opposing fullbacks. This formation seems custom made for DaMarcus Beasley, but he and the other winger Josh Wolff never really got into this game. The US never found them the ball and when they did the Morocccans were back in numbers.

The crossing from the outside backs was also poor. Cherundulo got a couple of telling crosses in the second half prior to his gaffe, but not nearly what he should. And while Cory Gibbs is a great defender, he isn't yet convincing going forward.

Good points? A nice 45 minutes from John O'Brien, who looked like he was really having fun out there. Donovan and Mastroeni weren't bad.

And then there's Reyna's injury. You just knew that either he, O'Brien or Mastroeni would go down in one of these games. There's nothing to do but to wait on the results of the scan, but I'm guessing he's probably out against Venezuela and Latvia.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

US Tactics

One story about the US camp that has gotten some attention among hardcore soccer geeks is Ronald Blum's article on how Claudio Reyna is going to play more of a defensive role in this World Cup. I'm not completely sure what practical effect this is going to have.

US fans generally think of Reyna as the primary "playmaker" for the US team. He is the player who sees the most of the ball, and generally determines the direction of the attack. But Reyna is not now, nor has ever been, the Valderrama-style "number 10" who plays behind the strikers and distributes to them and the advancing flank midfielders. Reyna plays very deep; he goes back to just in front of the defense to begin his distribution. When he plays with a strictly defensive midfielder such as Chris Armas or Pablo Mastroeni, you'll see him play almost alongside the d-mid when the US begins the attack. He will then advance to make himself available as an outlet or to support the attack he started. In other words, he plays a lot like a holding midfielder already, admittedly one with better attacking skills than the average.

The Blum article almost implies he will be the defensive midfielder for the US. I think this is probably not going to be the case, and I definitely don't think it should be the case. Because while Reyna often finds himself in a defensive midfielder position, he's not the greatest ballwinner and tough tackler when the opponents have the ball. The US has trouble disrupting opposing attacks when they don't have a Mastroeni or O'Brien in the midfield. I think it will be very important to have a dedicated d-mid in the World Cup, particularly since we'll be facing Pavel Nedved and Francesco Totti--talented midfielders whom we'll need to stifle in some way.

I think what will probably happen is that the US will play a "box" midfield with Reyna and Mastroeni or O'Brien playing behind two offensive midfielders who will play generally centrally, but have license to go to the flanks. The width will be provided by Cherundulo and Lewis and outside back. So in that sense Reyna might be more "defensive," but I think it will not make much difference when you see them on the field.

US-Morocco in an hour and a half, so maybe we'll see an indication of this soon. Enjoy.

An unkinder, rougher Tico

Apparently, Costa Rica has been taking a nice guy approach all this time. Who knew?

Shevchenko

As you may know, the Ukranian national team consists of one guy named Shevchenko and ten guys named Please Spank Me. So it comes as a bit of a blow for Ukranians that the guy named Shevchenko may, in fact, be crocked. The purpose of this press conference was to reassure people he was getting better, but it seems to have had the opposite effect; his knee injury may not be healing as well as was first thought. Maybe Tunisia will be the one to get out of this group in second place.

I really like the BBC photo that accompanies this story. It looks as if Shevchenko, following a particularly violent sneeze, is astonished and appalled by the color of the snot in his hands.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Building up

Now that the Champions League final has concluded and the European season has completely run down, the countdown to the World Cup begins in earnest. All squads have assembled, and some have even arrived in Germany. And this week, some serious warm-up matches will be played. Here's the rundown for the next few days.

Tuesday night: USA-Morocco. Despite a large (for the US) media presence, the American camp has been largely incident free. Which is, of course, exactly the way you want it. Fresh from a 5-0 dusting of the Charleston battery in a scrimmage, the US travels to Nashville to take on Morocco. Bruce Arena is treating the next three friendlies as a dry run for the rigors of the group stage: there will be three matches in a week. So it's hard to say precisely what lineup Arena will use; pretty much every player will get a significant amount of playing time in these games. Some questions for the Tuesday night game: Is O'Brien ready? Who among the strikers will get the goals? And can we avoid the kind of injuries that derailed Chris Armas and Greg Vanney in 2002?

Wednesday night: Ecuador-Colombia. This one's at Giants Stadium, so if you are in the New Jersey area, come down and see how the Ecuadorians are adjusting to playing in oxygen rich environments. Although now that I come to think of it, East Rutherford NJ can hardly be called an oxygen rich environment.

Thursday afternoon: England "B" vs. Belarus. Huh? What precisely does England B mean? From what I'm reading, it means that you might see some players who won't actually be on the World Cup squad; Sven-Goran Erikkson wants to rest Gerrard, Lampard, Terry and Beckham, and he might be a bit short of numbers otherwise. But you probably will see Owen, Campbell and Ashley Cole, and even maybe Theo Walcott if his mum lets him come out and play. It'll be intriguing to see this (it's on FSC in the US.)

Friday afternoon: Saudi Arabia vs. Czech Republic. This is pretty much the first of the pre-Cup friendlies in which both teams will actually be playing in the tournament. If you're one of the six people in the US who gets GolTV, you can actually watch it.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Smackdown to go

Rather amusingly, Germany are being trash-talked by the coach of Togo. Otto Pfister is German, so there is a logic here, but still... you know your team has a problem or two when the coach of Togo serves you up a diss sandwich.

Tears of a Lion

Apparently the firm that makes the World Cup mascot "Goleo" has gone bust. The BBC speculates that, being a lion, Goleo reminds too many German consumers of England. However, I speculate that consumers of all nationalities find the mere concept of a World Cup mascot a bit silly.

Mind you, as World Cup mascots go, Goleo is less disturbing than prior models: e.g. the unpleasant chicken of 1998, and the post-nuclear fallout Gummi Bears of 2002.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Squads

Through a combination of busyness and post-busyness laziness, I haven't been posting much; sorry about that. The big thing I missed, of course, is the announcement of everyone's World Cup squad on Monday. Socceramerica provides a helpful combined list.

I'm still too lazy to blog about all of them, and besides I want to go watch the Champions League final in a few minutes. So here are the stories as I see them:

Germany included veterans Jens Novotny and unknown (well, to me at least) David Odonkor.

Spain left out Morientes, which, if you've seen any Liverpool game this season, is not even slightly surprising.

Poland dropped Jerzy Dudek, so I won't be continually freaked out by the fact that he looks exactly like a guy I know (If you're reading, Michele, it's your husband.) They also didn't bring top scorer Tomasz Frankowski.

Italy included Gianluigi Buffon, despite the fact the waters of scandal are swirling around his jockstrap and rising.