Ewwww...

Courtesy of those free-lovin' hippies at the California base of Soccer America comes this report that Michael Ballack and Oliver Kahn threatened to sue a German sex shop for marketing vibrators with their names on them. Kudos to the crack SA editorial staff for not omitting the crucial details about the size of the offending objects.

What strikes me as bizarre about this story is this: why would anyone think that the endorsement of Oliver Kahn would encourage people to buy a sex toy? I mean, seriously, Kahn has to be one of the least sexiest humans ever. Just look at the guy:












Aroused yet? Thought not. If you passed legislation requiring his picture to be displayed in every bedroom in the world, the human race would die out in a generation.

UPDATE: But at least one attractive young woman disagrees with me:











Perhaps it's his stylish striped shirts.